Music (Almost) Ruined My Life: Don't Let it Ruin Yours! Creative Work Can Be a Curse - Choose Your Career Carefully

Here I go quoting Confucius two days in a row: "Choose a job that you love and you will never have to work a day in your life."


Diana Ross also said something along the lines of, "You had better like the songs you sing, because you're going to be singing them for the rest of your life."

Know it. Learn it. Live it.

This post is about choosing your job, using music as an example. I use music because that is what I know best. It could also apply to food, design, cinema, or any of the so-called "Creative Arts." To paraphrase Diana; "You had better like the career you choose, because you're going to be doing it the rest of your life." 


Choose your career carefully. If I had know then, what I know today, I would have never chosen to work in music... Here's why...

These guys changed my life...

I've worked in music, in one capacity or another, since 1978. While I will say that, when I first started, I think I loved music, now I can definitively say that I don't really like music. I don't want to sugar-coat this. It's the truth. I can't really say that I hate music. But, perhaps like an old marriage that has grown cold tired and loveless (and sexless), I have no interest in music at all any more. The fire that was once there has grown cold and lifeless...There rarely comes along something that really piques my interest and makes me take notice. I blame the industry (but what person wants to blame themselves?)


I think the last well known things that really caught my eye were, Fatboy Slim, Suede, Sex Pistols and Punk, and David Bowie (in that reverse chronological order). Music today, like cinema today, is boring as hell.

He was the first to change my life...

All my life I've had a few very unusual talents. One is that, even though I can never remember anyone's name, I always remember their telephone number - or just about any number. I can remember numbers that are over eight digits long no problem in the world. I've been able to do that since I was a young boy. I can even remember, to this day, our family telephone number when I was 8 and living in Minnesota! I can also remember the lyrics of songs even if I have only heard them in passing on the radio a few times and even if I don't like them. I've also been able to do that since the mid-sixties when garage music was Top 40...


"You're pushing to hard, pushing to hard, pushing to hard on me.... Too hard..." Oh, trivia...


Seriously folks, I've always hated sobbing piano corporate trash like Billy Joel (showing my age here) but can still remember all the lyrics to a song like, say, "Uptown Girl" of which I've only been exposed to a few times and hated with a passion from the first time. Today, I can't say that I hate Lady Gaga (can't name a single song she has done), Madonna, Justin Beiber, whatever, and so on... (insert your favorite pop star's name here).... Because I've gotten to the point where I just don't care about them at all.


Most artists, if they have a clue, will want people to either love or hate them. People like me who don't care at all are their demise.

I cannot try go to sleep with any music on at all. I won't sleep. If music is on, as I try to sleep, the lyrics will pop into my head and I won't be able to sleep. Even songs I hate, I remember the lyrics. It is a serious ailment for which modern science has no cure, or even a name for. 


So, whenever I go to a restaurant or hear music, awake or when trying to sleep, I play a sort of "Name that Tune" in my head (Really, I can get most of them in 4 or 5 notes without a hint). It's maddening. So, if I try to sleep and music is on, my mind clicks into "Name that Tune" mode.. Then, if there is a song I don't know - well, forget sleeping for another hour or two. (And trust that I have a massive library of data stored in the noggin; from the 1940's until late 1990's.) 


I met a girl once who had a similar illness when it came to classical music. Since she studied classical piano since she was a 5-year-old girl and then practiced everyday, a few hours a day, and even went to a university and graduated with a degree in classical piano (?) If she hears classical music while trying to sleep, she sees the sheet music rolling past her head and will not be able to sleep.... 


Later on, that girl and I got married. She is my current wife. We don't listen to music at home unless we are having a party and guests are over.


Music has been a friend and a curse to both of us all our lives. 

Rodney Bingenheimer is a real DJ. Probably the last of a dying breed.

Rodney is real. I am a cheap Japanese copy.

I suppose I'd better give a short rundown on my "music history." I played in a 70s Los Angeles punk band. We were one-hit wonders. Supposedly, we sold a lot of records. Rodney Bingenheimer at world-famous KROQ in Los Angeles once told me that our song was the most requested song in the history of his radio program and that show has been on since 1974 or so. The band was shitty. But it was fun... Well, sorta...


If you've ever played in a band that had even minimal success then you know that playing in a band can be fun. It can be LOTS of fun... If you tour you know that touring can be fun but it, seems to me, usually is not. My band wasn't fun to be around because they were always fighting like poncy hairdressers.


After the band relieved itself, and the listening public, from its misery by breaking up, I carried records and cleaned toilets for people at a radio station. Later, in Japan, I began doing my own radio programs in 1986 or 87. My first radio show in Japan was for a station in Osaka... The station's name was Radio Kansai, can't remember the name of the show.

Typical radio Deejay with a face (and body) perfect for radio

Let me break here tell you about the "magical dream" - before the days of the Internet - that working at a radio station was. Back before 1990, radio was king. If you wanted to hear new music, the only place was radio. I had been a fan of radio since I was a little boy. My parents would have to drive to a place for my mother's work. The lady who owned the place was named Mrs. Snap. My parents would try to goad me into the 1 hour car ride to Mrs. Snap's office . I'd never want to go (even though she was a nice lady), but if they let me sit in front and zap the am radio tuner, I'd eagerly go. 


My brothers were such uncool turds that, even at the height of the sixties Brit Invasion, they didn't care. I loved it. I loved the music. I loved the radio. (In the sixties, punk was Top 40 - like the above mentioned Seeds song, "Pushin' Too Hard.")


Anyway, most people who love music want to be musicians. But few of us have any talent to speak of. Let's face it, I had none. None! Nein! Zip! Nada! Zero!... So, after my punk band, I fancied going into radio. In those days, before one joins a radio station, like little children at Christmas with images of toys dancing in their heads, newbies at radio think they will be hanging out with rock stars and getting hundreds of the new albums by the hottest artists all for free...


Well, the hanging out with rock stars part isn't true at all. Rock stars might come to the station but they'll rarely remember your face, name, who you are, or even that they were on your very same show just last year! And the stacks of free records and CDs you'll get? Sure. You'll get them. But they'll all be crap that you don't want. You'll just have bags of junk to carry home and have more sh*t to throw away on trash day!


Seriously, if you receive 100 albums from record labels, then out of that 100, only 1 might be good. That is unless, of course, you think Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber are good. Almost everything you get is corporate rock trash. Good new artists rarely have the money or the label backing to put out sample recordings to stations. And, in the 25 years of being the DJ, producer, song selector of some of the highest rated (alternative) music radio shows in Tokyo, I can honestly say that I have only met three promoters who did their jobs properly.


Think about it; I make a show that plays underground and alternative music only and some dumb promoter is putting Justin Beiber's newest CD in my mailbox and asking me to play it on my show? Gee. Thanks for taking the time to listen to my program. I'll make sure I play your songs after they fish the CD out of the river when I throw it out the window!!!!


Arrrggghhhhh!!!!!


Oh? Where was I? Oh yeah, I was complaining about how much radio and the music industry sucks and how, using this example, you need to choose your career carefully.


Let me also interject that the music business (and radio too) has a lot of low class, dishonest people in them. It's been my experience that these dishonest types are usually gone within 3 ~ 6 years, but, through some miracle, some of the really sneaky and dishonest ones hold on. I think it's because they've made a deal with the devil... Rock and roll and all that, ya know.

I've met lots of people who signed contracts with this dude. What for?

To be a musician or DeeJay on radio!? What? Are these people stupid?

I blew it in radio. Besides the above, how was I to know, in the mid eighties that the Internet was going to come along and ruin everything? I couldn't. I started a TV and radio production company in 1992 that focused on the niche market of alternative music (no one was doing that in Japan) and so the die was cast.


Today, the internet is king and no one listens to radio anymore and no one watches music TV. Why bother? You can just go to Youtube and see what you want, when you want it without having to sit through 20 minutes of crap you don't like.


Now? I never listen to music and, if I do, it is only for work. Like I said, I rarely hear things that I like (the things I do like, I play) and, when not at work, I enjoy silence.


We have no TV at my home and we have no large stereo. We have a small CD player that we use for background music when guests come over so it is turned on, perhaps, three or four times a year. At my house, silence is golden.


People ask me, "Mike! What kind of music do you like?" I usually answer, "I am a fair person. I hold all Pop music in equal disdain." If I do listen to "music for pleasure," I listen to the birds singing in the garden, the crash of the ocean waves, or, in the car, Mozart.

Real music: Mozart, birds singing, Pianistar Hiroshi (click the link, you gotta watch this guy! He's amazing!)

Some lovers of music might say that this is tragic and a waste. Perhaps. But I like to think of it more akin to what a professional chef would do at a famous French restaurant. I fact, one I know told me the following and it reminded me of how I am. He said,


"Mike, I enjoy my work. I cannot say I love cooking. I enjoy my work. When I am at home, my wife wants me to cook, but I cannot stand to cook when I am at home. When I am at home, I don't want to eat anything... It's much too much trouble..."


He then added;


"Mike, I like McDonald's hamburgers. I am amazed at how fast they can turn them out and they are all exactly the same."


Get it? He likes McDonald's hamburgers. Why? Not because of the taste but because, as a professional chef, he is fascinated by how they can churn out these products and each and every one is exactly the same as the others. This is a goal of all professional chefs at fine restaurants.


Maybe he does like the taste. But I don't think that's what intrigues him; he likes the technique. He doesn't really "taste" the product. If he really tasted McDonald's hamburgers, he certainly wouldn't like them (But, then again, who knows? Some people might like eating chemicals and salt). 

McDonald's vs. Lobster? Hmmmm.... Tough choice, eh?

It's the same with me. I don't really "taste" the music anymore. I judge it by a certain level of quality, melody, and, I think, "Can I use this for my show or not?" That's it.


If this is tragic, then so be it. 


It think it is what it is and it is the fact that I enjoy my job. I cannot honestly say that I love music.


Had I known then what I know today, I would have chosen a different career.

Music isn't a hugely profitable career. There's not much upside. And there are a lot of dishonest sneaky people. Even though I cannot complain and can say that I don't really feel that I've ever worked "hard," (hard work is chopping down trees or working in construction, etc.) I could have made twice as much money in a different career had I made that decision long ago.

As it is, I am fading out music now. I started to do so at age 52. It's not too late.

But there is a lesson here for everyone: If people read this and can really understand what this is all about then, it's not sad, it is actually what makes a professional. Passion is always important, but having a detached, discerning eye is of utmost importance to the successful business man or woman. 


Have a discerning eye. Use good judgement. Choose your career well. 

Pianistar Hiroshi - Bohemian Rhapsody

Watch this. This is awesome!

NOTE: You can see a weekly Top 5 of music videos that I like here at George Williams's site (www.georgewilliams.jp). George and I pick these songs every week: http://www.georgewilliams.jp/wp/category/ranking/ 




Thanks to Allison Sayne

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Benefits of Blogging: I Made $400 Extra in Guam While on Vacation!

There are so many benefits of blogging that can profit you both spiritually as well as financially... But, as with many things in life, you've got to stick with it. 


Lord knows how many times I've wanted to quit writing for blogs. But, for better or worse, I've stuck with it. Now, I think if I quit, I'd wind up feeling like I lost a friend.

My blogging: The early years

Today, I want to give you an example of how blogging, for me, has done many great things for my well being (my maturity) and for my pocketbook. Besides making money, blogging has helped me to become a more patient and wiser person. I think blogging is a sort of therapy for the savage mind. It's worked wonders for me and it has made me money. Yes, folks. It's true: I have made lots of money with this particular blog you are reading right here and I allow no advertising on it. I'm not sure that it is possible to make any money from a blog that has pop-up ads, unless, of course, you get a few million readers a day. This blog has made me money because of what I write about and the wonderful people it has helped me to meet.  


I have been writing this Marketing Japan blog now for just over 1.5 years. In that short time, I have surpassed 850,000 reads (thank you!) At this rate, I expect to surpass 1 million reads by the third week of February or so. Besides this blog, I have also been writing blog posts for Lew Rockwell (LRC) since 2004. At Lew Rockwell, I am in the top 10 most published writers with almost 250 articles. Lew tells me that a popular article on LRC will get over 1.5 reads. In 2005, I had the #2 most read article on that blog. 


In this time, and over these nearly eight years, blogging has helped me to grow as a writer and as a person and has helped me to meet a great many wonderful people. It has also gained attention for me and my work, and has had the unintended consequence of having people ask me for advice or even getting me paid consultation work for their businesses. Many of those requests  (for advice) I rejected because I felt that I wasn't expert enough on the subject. In those cases, I introduced someone else who could help better than I.


But whether I do the job directly and get paid, or I help someone or help my friends, then there's enough reward in that for everyone.  


I'd estimate that, in 2009 ~ 2010, beginning with experience and information contained in this blog, I earned approximately $2000 a month in consultation and marketing and promotional fees.... I also got a consultation job for one friend and full time employment for another. Of course, in my case, I had to do a lot of work and go to many meetings and come up with marketing ideas, but that's not so bad for a part time job whereby I set the hours and come and go as I please.

Vacation in heaven? Guam! Yep. Only 3 hours by plane from Japan 

Besides the above, interestingly, I also "earned" $400 while I was on vacation in Guam the other day! Seriously! Pretty wild, eh? Well, here's what happened: 


At the end of December, I took my son, my wife and her parents and her sister to Guam for a family vacation. The in-laws are getting on in years and, as in-laws are wont to do, they keep saying that they want to go on "one last vacation together with the whole family before we die." (I think many people have relatives like this. They, like my in-laws, have been saying this sort of stuff for years... I wonder where we'll go for our "last vacation together" next year? Anyway...)


We went to stay at a very nice hotel in Guam (that I promised the hotel manager I would write about and I will soon). The hotel had connecting rooms and their own golf course. This is a great hotel and the rooms were large, clean, well-kept and a bargain at $200 dollars a night - don't forget that this was at Christmas time so prices that low at such a fine hotel are unbelievable! 

They even have Santa Claus in Guam

We choose this particular hotel because it was the in-laws wish was that they could go golfing together everyday. My wife and her sister would go shopping everyday and that left me to go play in the water park with my son. Get it? The parents golf, ladies shop, I babysit.... So much for "spending our last vacation together"! It was ok. I'd rather spend eight hours a day in the pool anyway because I don't like golfing and I really don't like shopping at boutiques.


We checked into the hotel and everyone went to their rooms. Our plan was to stay at this hotel for seven nights. Like I said, this vacation was paid for by me so everyone was my guest. Unbeknownst to me, the air conditioner in my in-laws room was broken. Since they are old people and I was paying for it, they didn't say anything about it at all. I didn't find out about the broken air conditioner until the forth morning at the hotel. I walked into their room and it was baking!


I asked my in laws why they didn't turn on the air conditioner and then they told me it didn't work. I checked it and sure enough, it was broken. I was a bit upset and asked them why they didn't tell me sooner. They said that they didn't want to complain and, if they did, they thought it would hurt my feelings.


Bless their hearts. I understand. They know I was paying for the vacation and they probably think I this hotel was the best I afford so they didn't want to make me feel bad about the accomodations. Old people are like that, I guess. Especially old Japanese folks who have rarely travelled outside of Japan; they don't know what to expect. I told them that I was going to complain to the manager about it and demand a room change and a discount. They told me not to complain. But I insisted that I had to. Heck, for all I know the hotel didn't know the cooler was broken.


From past experience, reading books (and experiences with this blog and dealing with comments and people) I have learned that getting angry is not a good negotiating tactic. I calmed myself and went down to the lobby to see the manager to make a business negotiation.


When I got there I met the manager. He was a very nice man named John. I explained the situation. John promised me that he'd look into it and switch the rooms immediately. I also asked for some satisfaction and a discount. He told me that he'd have to inquire to the sales division (understandable, this is a huge and famous hotel) so he'd get back to me later on.

View from our hotel room at Onward Beach Hotel. Fabulous!

When I met John again, he arranged the room transfer and, for that, I was happy. But, he said, that the sales department did not approve of a discount because we should have told them sooner. Yes, that's true. But I also explained to him about the in-laws and the "how's" and "what for's" and why they didn't tell me. They didn't tell me because they knew I was paying and probably thought that this was the best I could afford and if they complained, I'd feel bad. Fair enough, I figured. I can understand how older folks think. John agreed with me.


Even though he agreed, he said that it would be really tough to get the sales department to change their mind. We went back and forth a bit and I felt myself getting a bit hot under the collar.


That's when I pulled out my ace-in-the hole. I told John that I was a blogger and that I blogged for one of the most famous political and social commentary blogs in the world: Lew Rockwell and I also write this blog. I didn't have a business card, but, as I have written before in how to market yourself in Internet and Social Media? Get a Great Name, that having a great and easily memorable and unique name is critical.


I said to John,


"Listen John, I don't want to fight or hassle with you, but not getting even a bit of satisfaction in the form of a discount for the room isn't good enough. Now, when we reserved the room, we reserved a room with all the amenities and that includes an air conditioner that works. Please, I need more cooperation from you guys. You don't know who I am but I am a sort of well-known blogger. Please go to Google and search "Mike Tokyo." That's me at #1 or #2. I write for one of the most famous blogs in the world. Now, I don't want to write a bad review about this hotel. In fact, everything except this broken air conditioner has been just fine. And I'm not asking for something outrageous. Just some satisfaction. But if your sales doesn't want to make me happy, then you will lose a customer and I will write about this.... Because, well, because I am being forced to pay for something that wasn't as advertised and that's bad business. So please go back and ask again."


John said he understood. He looked me in the eye and shook my hand. With that, I walked off and we agreed to talk again the next morning.

The next morning, when I saw John, he smiled broadly at me. He told me that he was a big fan of Ron Paul and Lew Rockwell!!! He said he told the top director of the hotel about my case and they both agreed to cut the first four nights rate from $200 a night to $100 a night! I was so pleased. I was also so impressed that John was that kind of go-getter aim-to-please type of guy. He didn't have to go bat for me like that. But he did. He always has my business from now on. I like that sort of attitude.


What a diamond in the rough John is!


Actually, though, besides being happy, I was stunned. At first I thought John  meant that he was cutting $25 a night off the price, for a total of $100 and that would have been good enough for me, but they cut the price in half! $100 a night! Wow! That's $400 in my pocket right there! And all because I have a big mouth and I blog.

My wife was so happy too. Not only did we get a $400 discount, but they moved her parents into a bridal suite that was twice the size of the former room. Heck, the bathroom and shower in the bridal suite was the size of my dining room back home in Japan! When I saw the room, I thought, "Wow! This is really classy! These guys know how to treat customers!" What a wonderful place to take that someone special in your life for a honeymoon, anniversary, or just for vacation. 


I knew it! I blew it. I should have told my in-laws to take my room and we'd sacrifice by taking the bridal suite. Serves me right for not being more sneaky. Ahem!


Anyhow, the verdict is in for me: Blogging pays... Doing it consistently pays much better.

Onward Beach Resort, Guam. Highly recommended. http://www.onwardguam.com/hotel/en/

NOTE: The hotel we stayed in in Guam was the Onward Beach Resort. We have been to Guam now six times. We have stayed in the Nikko Hotel, the Hilton, Plaza Hotel and few others whose names escape me, but, for overall room quality, food, service and pleasant experience, Onward Beach Resort has been, by far, the best experience we've had in Guam. We will be staying there again next time.... If you go there, tell the manager, John, that I sent you. (Oh, and John, don't worry... I won't be asking for a discount again!)

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Shopping on Christmas Day!? Are You Nuts?

I just had the misfortune of being tortured for thirty minutes in being seated in an area where a TV set was on and the channel was on Fox News.


Oh, the horrors!


Besides the usual litany of fluff, they actually showed shopping malls packed with people doing their Christmas shopping on Christmas Day! Are these people nuts?


Haven't any of them ever heard of the Internets?


Time is the only nonrenewable resource, my friends. Don't waste it on shopping (or going out anywhere for that matter) that is packed with people, during a rush, and the parking lots are full.


Spend that time with your family instead.

This is what I do every year instead of the Christmas rush.

You can do this too!

Here's my hint (and it's no big secret): Do all your Christmas shopping starting 12/26 until 1/30. I do. In fact, I've done that every year for the last ten years or so.


I have an eight year old son. I finished all his big Christmas items shopping at the start of 2010. I bought this year's presents for him in 2010...In fact, I have his big Christmas items already bought for 2012 and 2013.


In my case, it's pretty easy, I suppose. It's simple to figure out what a Star Wars crazy six-year-old kid would want in the next few years. I bought the big Star Wars items that retailed for $500 - $600 at 44% off (about) through Amazon.


You can do it too.


Save yourself time and money. Start your Christmas shopping (preferably online) from tomorrow until about Feb. Save a ton of money and time.  

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Spending Time With Your Kid

It's a day after Christmas and things have really started to wind down. Most dad's are home from work - excepting in Japan and other non-Christian countries and, trust me, there's lots of those. So most of these dad's will take the time, hopefully, to spend some time just being a kid and playing with their kid.

There's nothing more important that a dad can do with their kid than just being with them and doing what the kid wants to do. That's so important. We always take the kids someplace to do what we want to do. But how often do we sit right down with them and do exactly what they want to do? 

Guam December 2011

Sure. "I do that all the time." But do you really? I think most dads, when the child says, "Daddy! Let's do this (or that)!" Will do it for 10 - 20 minutes or so, but get bored quickly and stand up and say, "Well, that's enough for daddy right now" and walk off.

I am reminded of my son wanting to play with Thomas the Tank Engine toys when he was 3 or 4. I thought it was totally boring. That is, until, I got right down and looked at it from his point of view. I got low to the ground and imagined that I was the train conductor and that I was driving the trains. I had to slow down at the dangerous curves and be careful of trains crossing my way. I actually became involved with the game and interacted, rather than just push some cars around in an uninterested fashion.

It soon became fun! The next thing I knew was my wife came up to us and smiled, "My! You two seem to be having lots of fun!" It was! It was fun and time went by really quickly. The next thing you know two hours had passed. We had a great old time.

I am reminded of that time often and, since it is the Christmas and New Year's holiday season, I'd like to remind you fathers and mothers too (but I suspect that most mothers don't need reminding). Recently, I went to a southern Pacific Ocean island with my wife and son and we stayed at a resort. The resort was geared towards families and so they had a water park and a game center. Of course, my son wanted to go to both all the time.

The first day there, I took my son to the pool and water park then to the game center. I found the game center extremely boring as most of the machines were broken and the change machine was in disrepair. Even so, we had  a good time playing Foosball.

The next day. I was exhausted and took a nap. My son was frustrated because he wanted to go play with me. But I had to sleep. After an hour or so of napping, I woke up feeling guilty. That's when it dawned on me again; I am not on vacation here for my pleasure, I am here for his pleasure (we are on vacation after all). I woke up and asked him what he wanted to do.

It was during the day time and he said wanted to go play Foosball. I thought that was a waste of daylight and wanted to tell him, "No! We are going to the pool." but I decided then and there that I would do whatever it was that my son wanted to do.

After all, it was his vacation time too. If he wanted to waste daylight playing Foosball then what difference does it make to me? I'd decided to go have fun with him so whatever he wanted to do was fine by me. I mean, what difference does it make to me if we go Foosball for the first two hours and swimming for the next thirty minutes or so, then swimming for the first hour, then Foosball for the next two hours?

Whatever we do, I had decided that I was going to make him happy by doing what he wanted to do. Whatever it was.

Remember dads and moms... Our true happiness comes in making someone else happy, especially our kids. They aren't going to be kids forever let them enjoy it while they can...

And, if you can allow yourself to do so too, become a kid with them while you play. It is wonderful to return to the purity of our childhood, if even for a moment, if you can.

Try to do this for a day or two this holiday season... I'll bet it will truly be the present that your child remembers. 

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Everyday is an Audition

A few night's ago I had the simple pleasure of watching George C. Scott in the movie adaptation of Charles Dicken's "A Christmas Carol" (1984). In that movie, Scott played Ebeneezer Scrooge. It wasn't the greatest performance I've ever seen Scott in. I saw George C. Scott in the lead role of the classic "Patton" when I was a school child and, then again, later on as Buck Turgidson in Dr. Strangelove and Scott was magnificent both times. Scott was called "One of the greatest actors of his generation." So serious was he about his trade that he even refused to attend  the Oscar ceremony in 1971 for his role in Patton. He thought the awards ceremonies were "demeaning" and a "two hour meat parade." He wanted no part of it.

As I watched, "A Christmas Carol" I sometimes felt sorry for Scott. His performance seemed strained in parts. I thought, "Oh how far the mighty have fallen." Why such a triple AAA class actor has to appear in a B-Grade movie? Oh, well, one has to pay the bills.

Then I thought about what is an actors life? I know only too well how show business works; one day you are on top of he world, the next? You haven't a friend around.

The movie "A Christmas Carol" was good, but it seemed quite a drop from the lofty heights of Patton and Dr. Strangelove. I considered how such an excellent and fine actor such as George C. Scott had to actually go to an audition in order to get that part. Imagine! Once the winner of the Academy Award for Best Actor in 1971, auditioning for a part in, what surely was a well-made movie, but not nearly a classic in any sense of the word.

Like I said, it was a "nice movie."

I guess we all have to remember that no matter what we've done in the past, every day is a new day and we have to start again and find the fire and the muster to bring ourselves to an Academy Award performance.

Everyday is an Audition  

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A Message for Fathers: Most Men Die With Regrets

... They die that way because they became fathers and then, one day, they realize that they missed out on their child's childhood. My 80-year-old father mentioned this to me before he died this year.

What a waste.


Most men don't realize this until they are in their late 50s through 80s - until they die.


I am one of the lucky few. I realized it when I was in my mid thirties. The reason why I was lucky enough to realize it is because most dads get married and then they have two or three children within a few years. They also consistently repeat the same mistakes with the second and third child that they made with the first child. Then they don't get a second chance. They raise the children together, of course. Not me, my kids are 20 years apart in age.


I have four children. Julie (27) and Sheena (22) were born to my first wife. That wife and I divorced after seven years of marriage and I raised those two girls by myself. I remarried three years later and Wendy was born. When Wendy (17) got sick as a baby and then recovered from cancer, she wasn't able to live with her sisters for at least 6 years due to chemo-therapy treatments so her mother and I divorced and Wendy went away to live with her mother. 


I remarried again for the third time and Wray (8) was born.


Julie and Sheena often had trouble at school and sometimes with the police when they were teenagers. I regret that I didn't spend enough time with them, but with trying to pay to raise them, I didn't have the time I needed. I hired several nannies and they raised them. One nanny was the main one, but she wasn't full-time. I will always regret that I missed their childhood and didn't spend the time with them that I should have.


So, one day, my second wife, a wonderful woman, married me and my two daughters and Wendy was born.


When Wendy got cancer, I was devastated. One day she was fine. The next day she couldn't walk. A few days later she was in the hospital for the next 2 years. Then, when she was released she had to move away to save her life. I will always regret that I missed her childhood and didn't spend the time with her that I could have.


But, like I said, I am lucky. God gave me more chances (so, perhaps there is a silver lining to divorce). I don't want to miss Wray's childhood. When he was born, I often took care of him. I spent time with him and took him for walks everyday for the first two years in his baby carriage. Then, from age 1 1/2 until 7, I went to bed with him every night at 8 pm and we read books together before going to sleep. I make his breakfast at least 320 days a year and eat dinner with him at least 3 or 4 nights a week. I still do.


I always try to come home before 5:30 pm.


I want to live with Wray with no regrets. God gave me another chance I won't waste it. I cannot get back the time with my other children but I can make sure that I don't repeat my mistakes. I will always regret about my first three daughters, but I am trying not to regret with Wray.


You fathers please listen to me. Take my advice. 


Yesterday, Sunday afternoon, the piano school Wray goes to had a Christmas piano concert. I looked at the crowd in attendance. I estimated that there were 27 moms and about 5 grandmas there. The dads? A pretty poor showing. Seemed like 7 fathers and 4 grandfathers. With 27 moms, there should have been 27 dads but there were only 7. Where were the others? What is so important that they miss their child's performance?

The children all performed their hearts out and smiled brightly when their performances ended. Even when it wasn't my son playing, I cried at some of the performances.


Here were these innocent, pure and bright young children playing their hearts out for their moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas. Oh what a joyous occasion it was.


What an even more joyous occasion it could have been had those other 20 fathers bothered to attend. I wonder if any of those fathers were you, dear reader? Or were they you at a different time at a different occasion?


Where were those fathers? Were they Golfing? At home sleeping? Working? Like I said, ultimately what is more important to all of us than our children?


Think about it my friends, what do we work for? Why do we chase the all mighty dollar?


We do it to give our families a place to live and a roof over their heads and food and a happy family.


Think about that last part, "... a happy family." Is a family truly happy when the father is not around? Take, for example this Christmas concert. How many Christmas concerts will your 8-year-old son or daughter perform at? Well, when you stop to think about it, kids are only eight once and Christmas comes only once a year.... That means once.


How often can you go golfing or work or sleep on the couch?

I hope that you, in the New Year, will think about what I am saying. Like I wrote, very few people have the luck to have raised children that are 20 years apart in age. I do. Listen to what I say. 


Share time now with your children because now isn't coming back ever again. Give your child a hug and spend time with them while you can. 

The future is coming sooner than you can imagine. Don't kid yourself. No matter how much time you spend with your children, one day, you'll wish you had spent more. Do it now.

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Santa Claus Visits Tokyo Hospital for Children With Incurable Diseases

Every year at about this time, Santa Claus visits the mothers and their children who have been diagnosed with incurable diseases. In Japanese, "incurable disease" is 難病 (Nanbyou). 


The good folks at the NPO Nanbyonet (Nanbyonet.or.jp  http://www.nanbyonet.or.jp/) help Santa and his helpers to visit these wonderful children and to try to brighten their day and spend some time with them and bring them happiness and Christmas cheer.

Santa tells me that he thinks that Nanbyonet.or.jp is one of, if not thee, most reputable charities in Japan. Nanbyonet.ot.jp helps to raise funds to give these children some happiness and enjoyment in their short time on this earth and to bring people closer together.

Besides Christmas events, Nanbyonet.or.jp also arranges camping for the kids, poolside and swimming events, arts and crafts, musical events and others to create enjoyment for these wonderful little people. Nanbyonet.or.jp also arranges training and support for the parents of these special needs children. 

For more information on how you can help Nanbyonet.or.jp check their website (Nanbyonet.or.jp) or inquire here: http://www.nanbyonet.or.jp/inquiry/index.html

Today, Dec. 6, 2011 Santa Claus and his helpers got an early start and had the pleasure of going to Juntendo University Hospital in Tokyo, near Ochanomizu Station to visit several dozen children and their mothers in the hospital.


Santa brought presents to all and took pictures for the moms and the kids to keep forever.

Of course, Santa can't show you all the pictures with his friends and their mothers, but here are a few that you might enjoy...

Oops! This little girl was out at the moment so Santa left a present behind on the bed. Luckily for Santa, when he came back a little later on, the girl was waiting for him! 

In the three wards Santa visited were about 60+ kids with varying degrees of illness. In spite of that, you probably couldn't find a more positive and happy bunch of kids and their moms anywhere else in the world! Ho! Ho! Ho!

This little girl thought Santa was scary! Maybe the yelling, "Merry Christmas" loudly in the usually quiet hospital hallways was a bit much. Next year, Santa may have to tone it down a bit in front of the very little tykes! But no! Santa is sure these kids are all going to get better and I will see them next year too.... ... Happy and healthy at their homes!

All the children Santa met were wonderful and loving, special children. One little girl, her name was Miki, sang a song for Santa and, even though she couldn't see Santa very well, she asked Santa to sit next to her so she could feel Santa's beard. She even gave Santa a big Christmas hug... Not only that, she handmade the best Christmas present any Santa could ever receive. She made Santa a candy cane out of red & white pipe cleaners with a bow on it! What a beautiful present from that lovely little girl's heart. How thoughtful! Santa took it home and showed it to Mrs. Santa and promptly hung it on the Santa family Christmas tree.

Candy cane present from lovely Miki san! 

Santa will never forget, Miki san. That's a promise!

Now, every year, Santa is going to think about Miki and all the wonderful children who shared their time with him this year. Santa loves you and is praying for you all and may a miracle happen to you and may god bless you all! 

Santa and his friends and helpers from Juntendo University Hospital and Nanbyonet.or.jp

CHRISTMAS NOTE: Every day of every year, some child is struck down with a terrible disease. While medical science desperately searches for cures, there is something you and I can do to make these children's (and their parents) lives just a little bit better. We can volunteer our time or donate to a worthy cause.

Won't you consider all the good things you have and just how fortunate we really are and give some of your time or donations to a just cause?

You'll feel better about yourself. I know I do. I wish I could do more. Won't you help this Christmas season?

(Nanbyonet.or.jp) or inquire here: http://www.nanbyonet.or.jp/inquiry/index.html 
(Sorry Japanese only! Trying to convince them to make English info ASAP)

Thanks to Nanbyonet, Fukushima san, Ogisu san, Okado san, Pfizer KK Hirata san and all the great folks at Juntendo University Hospital!

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The Best Christmas Present I've Ever Received - And You Can Give it Too!

Is it just me or are there any others who think the Christmas season in America (Japan too) has become an orgy of crass commercialism? Of course, that is a rhetorical question. I think most people do.

Christmas is no longer is it the heart-warming family get-together tradition of days long gone by. Christmas today has turned into a mad dash towards debt and poverty. It's not only debt and poverty concerning money and lifestyle, it is a poverty of the soul. One need only look at the news about "Black Friday" and the violence to see what Christmas in America has become. 


The only reason we celebrate Christmas at my house is that we have an 8-year-old. I could never be such a Grinch to deny a small boy Christmas.


Whatever happened to just getting together with family and friends and enjoying each others company? It's sad what has happened to the "Season to be jolly."


In that spirit though, I'd like to relate today about a great present I got when I was a kid... It is a present that I have received over and over these past 44 years. That was a wonderful present I received from a classmate of mine when I was a kid in Minnesota. His name was James Rudd and the present wasn't in a box. It was on his face and in his heart. Every time I see a box brightly wrapped as a present, I see Jim Rudd's face and that moment, the spirit of him, comes to visit me and I receive that wonderful gift yet again.


Even though I cannot transport my children into the past by use of a time machine, I want my children to know and experience the true joy of giving and receiving. Towards that end, I always try to relate to my kids the story of James Rudd.


When I was in forth grade, James Rudd, "Jim," wasn't really my good friend. He was a classmate. I am quite ashamed to admit that I think I wasn't very friendly to Jim because he was sometimes bullied by the other kids so, in order to make sure that they didn't bully me, I foolishly joined in in making fun of Jim. Jim was a down to earth dorky kind of kid that might remind you a lot of Opie Taylor from the Andy Griffith Show.

 Opie Taylor

In those days, at Christmas time, the kids in the classroom all shared in Christmas festivities by buying one present. The catch was that you didn't know who you were buying the present for! The rules were that each child could buy one gift of no more than two dollars. Each child would wrap the present and bring it to class and put it under the tree. When it came to the last day of school, before Christmas holiday, each child would draw a name out of a hat and receive the present from the person whose name they drew.


I was quite unhappy that I drew Jim Rudd's name because he wasn't "cool" and was kind of dorky (look who's talking!) I think I was so unhappy about that drawing that it showed up on my face for everyone to see.


When I went to the tree to grab the present Jim prepared, Jim came to sit in front of me at my desk. 


In those days, I was a World War II nut. I loved building plastic military models of planes, ships and tanks. Especially German tanks. I thought those were the coolest. Of course, in a class of 30 kids, with each kid buying one present to be selected at random by another child, there was no way to know what you were going to get.


To expect a King Tiger tank was probably setting myself up for a big letdown.


I got that letdown when I opened the present from Jim. It was a plastic model alright, but it was a plastic model of an old Spanish Galleon. I didn't like it at all. I am once again sad to admit that my disappointment probably greatly showed on my face even though I tried to hide it.

But then, after opening the plastic model, was when Jim Rudd gave me the present that he has been giving me every year since then. It was the present that has warmed my heart all these years. It is the story I have told my children repeatedly and am now sharing with you.


With disappointment on my face and sadness in my heart, after opening the present I looked straight into Jim eyes and he looked into mine. With the utmost sincerity and enthusiasm brimming over Jim smiled brightly to me and said, 


"Mike! I hope you like it!"


I could see from his eyes and his words that he meant it from the bottom of his soul. My heart melted and I thought, 


"Gee! What a really sweet, nice guy!"


Mere words on a paper could never express the way I felt at that time. Here was this incredibly sincere boy giving me a present (that he picked himself and thought was really cool) and was hoping that I would like it as much as he did.


He gave me something that he wanted! Not only that, he gave me sincerity, enthusiasm and a warm spirit of friendliness and a feeling that I will never forget until my dying day: With just one smile and six words, he gave me the true spirit of Christmas.


Jim Rudd, you gave me something that I have always remembered and I will never forget it. I recall it every year at every birthday party andChristmas and every gift-giving celebration. I wish I could give such a wonderful gift to someone someday.


I will cherish this memory all my life. And now, Jim, you allow me to share it with others. James Rudd, wherever you are, thank you so much sincerely from the bottom of my heart.... and Merry Christmas!

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