Oi pessoal hoje venho falar dessa make linda e super alegre que fiz pra participar do dia das crianças lá na minha igreja "Abundante Graça", onde fiz parte do grupo de teatro de fantoches. Como era um dia super festivo achei super apropriado essa make bem alegre!! As crianças adoraram, principalmente as meninas claro!!! è um azul bem lindo da paleta de 120 cores mais o glitter da safira azul, com cílios postiços. Experimentem, tanto fazer a maquiagem como a esperiência de servir a Deus!!
The yen dropped by the most in three years against the dollar as Japan stepped into foreign-exchange markets to weaken the currency for the third time this year after its gains to a postwar record threatened exporters.
“I’ve repeatedly said that we’ll take bold action against speculative moves in the market,” Japanese Finance Minister Jun Azumi told reporters today after the government acted unilaterally. “I’ll continue to intervene until I am satisfied.”
The yen weakened against the more than 150 currencies that Bloomberg tracks as Azumi said he ordered the intervention at 10:25 a.m. local time because “speculative moves” in the currency failed to reflect Japan’s economic fundamentals. Today’s drop reversed this month’s previous gain by the yen against the greenback amid speculation the Federal Reserve may add to stimulus measures as the U.S. recovery stagnates.
The Japanese currency sank 4.3 percent as of 6:44 a.m. in London to 79.24 per dollar, after remaining at 79.20 for almost three hours. The yen headed for its biggest closing drop since October 2008. It fell to as low as 79.53 per dollar, the weakest since Aug. 4.
Seriously, these people are nuts. These fools keep doing this but it never works. They throw away billions, the yen falls for a short while, then it starts to rise again. Please refer to: Insanity: Japanese Government of August 9, 2011:
I write over and over until my fingers are bleeding that the government is run by idiots. For over twenty years, the clowns "at the helm" of the Japanese government have been creating debt and trying to manipulate the markets. We have the current situation to show for it: Massive public debt and an economy mired in the mud.
Last year's currency intervention was to stop the yen when it was at about ¥82 to the US dollar. The Japanese Central Bank threw $63 billion dollars at the problem then.
FIVE DAYS ago, the yen and dollar rate was ¥76.9 yen to one US dollar. The Japanese government threw $56 billion dollars at that. They were patting themselves on the back because the yen quickly shot past ¥80 to the US dollar. That was on August 4, 2011.
This is the third currency intervention by Japan this year. How many times do these idiots have to keep repeating the same mistake until they learn that these sorts of interventions never work?
Let me predict that we will see ¥75 to the US Dollar again before Feb. 2012... Soon followed by another massive currency intervention.
The last intervention was $60 billion dollars down the trash can. This newest one, with the biggest rise in the yen since 1978, must be well more than that! Japanese government debt is now 225% of GDP. Is it any wonder with the government so stupidly throwing money down the toilet over and over?
Cover Me Canada has George as judge tonight. SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30 @ 9PM
George Stroumboulopoulos, lover of music, agreed to be tonights guest judge last week when he had the host of Cover Me Canada Nicole Appleton and her husband Liam Gallagher on his show. Readmore..
Happy Halloween. A Strombo Show Tradition, we celebrate all things Halloween in a musical sense. This is the Strombo Show team's favourite show of the year.
Strombo regular Bob Mackowycz drops in to play some Halloween favourite's and writer Liisa Ladoceur will stop by to talk about her book Encyclopedia Gothica, and play some classic 'Goth" songs. Also we play some classic and not so classic Halloween tunes. We go dark!
Light a candle, carve a pumpkin, eats some candy and tune in.
Last night I was a drag queen. I dressed up as a woman. From that experience, and what I learned in just a few hours of "being a woman," I can safely say that I think all men should dress up like a woman for at least one day in their life. It will do much to diffuse the battle of the sexes.
Even though last night wasn't actually Halloween, it was the night of most of the Halloween parties in Tokyo. I dressed up as a woman. I have always wanted to dress up like a woman (ala Monty Python) last night was the fulfillment of a lifelong dream.
I never want to do that again.
ARE YOU A BOY? OR ARE YOU A GIRL?
After just a few hours of getting prepared, going out, trying to socialize with people and then coming home completely and totally exhausted, I have come to have a much better understanding and sympathy for the fairer sex. Frankly speaking, being a woman sucks.
I don't mean that in any derogatory way towards women. I just think that if I say, "It's great to be a guy" that reeks of braggadocio. No. I mean, women have to put up with way too much sh*t. I couldn't do it. I don't mean that I don't want to do it. I probably just couldn't be a woman. It's far too much work.
Besides taking an hour to get all prettied up to go out (and trust me, I did the absolute minimum) it was a major production just to get out the door and go anyplace.
Hell, guys can just sleep in their T-shirts, get up, slide on some jeans and we're out the door. I do that all the time. Women? Nope. It took a good 20 minutes to get the dress on right. It took 5 minutes just to get the nylons on (for some reason, you have to put those on or the high heels won't fit correctly)...Then, when I did get the nylons on, they kept slipping down my butt and making me feel uncomfortable. So I kept pulling them back up until I ripped a hole in my left leg stocking! God, those tear easy!
Horrors! What's a proper drag queen to do with a hole in his stockings? What do women do all their lives with this sort of problem?
Ken Nishikawa (L) Mike Rogers (R)
Drag queens 10/28/11
Then, after the dress and nylons were on, it was time for the makeup. Like I said, just the minimum as I was getting really impatient with this stuff so the ten minute makeup applied by my wonderful wife was quite sufficient, thank you. I can't imagine spending a few hours, like many women do, getting ready to go out on a date.
Calculate it, guys. The girl spends three hours showering, blow drying their hair, putting on makeup, getting dressed in the latest (expensive) fashion, finishing touches, putting on nail polish, all for what? Going out on a date with a loser like you? A date that ends in two hours?
She spends ¥10,000 (about $110) on makeup and stuff to go on a date with you and you take her to a cheap-assed restaurant or the game center? On top of that, if the date goes well, all you want to do rip her clothes off and ruin her makeup?
Doesn't seem to balance the books very well, does it? Doesn't seem like a very good deal for the girls.
After my friend, Ken, and I put on all our makeup, wigs and dresses, we went out. We caught a cab and thank god for that! How in the hell do women walk all day in high heels? We didn't walk a total of 5 minutes and my feet were killing me! I didn't walk a total of 150 meters (150 yards) last night and I got a blister on a toe on my left foot that broke and now I have a blister on my right small toe. My feet were killing me last night. They still hurt this morning!
Funnily enough, I don't want to dress in drag ever again. But, like I said, I think all men should do it for one night in their life at least. Why?
Because, we all know that women get the sh*t end of the deal in life. They have to bear the pain of childbirth; they are generally weaker than men and their men often beat and abuse them; they go through painful monthly cramps due to menstrual periods; they can't get paid as much as men do at the workplace... The list goes on and on...
And that's not all! Not only do women have to put up with the above list of tortures in life, they live longer than we do so they have to put up with it longer than we do! For what? They have to go through this sh*t of dressing up and looking nice everyday of their life just so their men can abuse or ignore them!?
That really sucks!
Not me. Not anymore. I have a much greater appreciation for my wife and daughters and what they have to go through everyday. From now on, I am going to be much more appreciative of them and their looks. They spend hours on trying to look their best and we men are too fricking stupid to spend two seconds saying, "You look nice. I appreciate you!"
I will never be impatient anymore when my wife or daughters want to shop. I will be more appreciative of the women at work too. I will compliment them all when I see they've gotten their hair done.
From cross-dressing for just a few hours, once in my life, I have a much better understanding of what women go through.
I will now always appreciate and be more sympathetic towards them...
I will always thank god that I was born a man. Being a man means I can be a slob and, if I so choose, dress like a woman... Not that I'd ever want to. It's way too much work.
Guys, appreciate your women and what they go through.
*Seriously, guys, try dressing in drag with high heels for just one night and you will understand exactly what I am talking about. The world will be a much better place if all guys dress in drag on Halloween. But... It won't happen. Dressing like a woman is much too much work for most men.Readmore..
Well, they haven't stopped life insurance payments for Jews, Catholics, Cross-dressers, Left-Handed People, Club Members and Punks... Yet. But they have stopped payments to some families because of their associations, namely to so-called yakuza and their associates. This is outrageous and a crime in plain view.
I relish the idea that I can cop from the old police detective TV shows when I say, "Something smells bad about this."
Both are criminal organizations. But only one bombs and kills
innocent people 24/7 in the Middle East.
The recent crackdown on the Yakuza in Japan is not motivated by any recent domestic developments or problems on the home front. I submit to you, dear reader, that this crack down is motivated partly by US government pressure and is just another of many scams being perpetrated by our government to steal money to help pay for the financial disaster that the western governments (Japan included) have engineered that is about to befall on all of us regular people in the working class. On top of that, it is just another boondoogle for a government agency (the Japanese police) to try to justify massive public tax expenditures and to try to avoid budget cutbacks next year...
At the end of August 2011, the Japanese entertainment world was shocked and aghast when one of the most recognized and famous TV entertainers, Shinsuke Shimada abruptly retired from TV due to allegations of having ties with the underworld... Specifically speaking, the Yakuza.
This crack down in Japan on the mafia in Japan seems very timely as it doesn't seem to be motivated purely by a domestic agenda. It has an extra topping, so to speak. I accuse the USA of, once again, blowing smoke and interfering with Japan's domestic issues. Dear reader should take note that this crackdown has an uncanny timing beginning this year (with Japanese government credit downgrades) and with a US government crackdown that began with pres. Obama's saying as such - and being reported and commented on at this very blog at the end of July 2011. Please refer to:
So the USA, the world's biggest criminal organization decides that the Yakuza are a threat? Really? I'd care to debate that issue. I don't think in the entire history of the Yakuza could they have killed or robbed nearly as many people as the United States does on a daily basis.
Or, more recently, another of many examples; the murder of Libyan people and their leader whilst stealing their national wealth under the under the auspices of a UN action to "protect the civilian population"? Please refer to:
“The objective of the war against Libya is not just its oil reserves (now estimated at 60 billion barrels), which are the greatest in Africa and whose extraction costs are among the lowest in the world, nor the natural gas reserves, which are estimated at about 1,500 billion cubic meters. In the cross hairs of the ‘coalition of the willing’ conducting ‘Operation Unified Protector’ there are sovereign wealth funds, capital that the Libyan state has invested abroad.
“The Libyan Investment Authority (LIA) manages sovereign wealth funds estimated at about $70 billion U.S., rising to more than $150 billion if you include foreign investments of the Central Bank and other bodies. But it might be more. Even if they are lower than those of Saudi Arabia or Kuwait, Libyan sovereign wealth funds have been characterized by their rapid growth. When LIA was established in 2006, it had $40 billion at its disposal. In just five years, LIA has invested in over a hundred companies in North Africa, Asia, Europe, the U.S. and South America: holding, banking, real estate, industries, oil companies and others.” – Manlio Dinucci, “Financial Heist of the Century: Confiscating Libya’s Sovereign Wealth Funds,” BlackListed News
Is there any one of us who is so naive to think that the USA has gone into Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya; is using drones to assassinate people in Pakistan, Somalia and Yemen; and, more recently, has sent more US troops into Africa so that those people can be "free" and to help "protect them"!? I hope not.
When has the USA EVER gone to war to help protect the rights of dark skinned people or the rights of the individual? No. The USA goes to war for the control of resources and to take national treasures.
That's what empires do. That's what they've always done. That's what they will always will do. To think otherwise is just plain stupid.
As I have said, the sudden war with the Yakuza seems to be driven by US politics and economics. The timing is too great. I believe the US sees a chance to steal or at least control money that they think they can take from the Yakuza. So, of course, they have to have a media campaign to vilify the Yakuza. It's a pathetic campaign at that. That the Japanese government cooperates with this crap is just another sign that the current Japanese government, in spite of paying lip service to the notion of standing up to the USA is just another in a line of many lap dogs.
Let me deconstruct one such example of this tabloid sensationalism and piss-poor reporting and, well, downright lying.
The Christian Science Monitor, never one to not be in the front row screaming for any foreign US military adventure, is also at the top of the cheerleaders section for this recent attack on people who do have the right to association. Please refer to this July 27 article from CS Monitor:
Recent scandals over illegal gambling among sumo players and ringside VIP tickets for Japan's notorious yakuza gangsters have enveloped Japan's venerated sport of sumo and fascinated the public.
My god! Sumo? Scandals involving illegal gambling!? Ringside VIP tickets!? What'll we ever do? I won't bore dear reader with how asinine this is except to say that, in Japan, as with the USA, gambling is illegal, except if it is run by the government (such as lotteries) or backed by companies that make massive campaign contributions such as horse racing or casinos. Scandals over ringside tickets for the boring sport of Sumo? Heavens.
NOTE: If you've never made a bet in your life or paid a premium for that, say, Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets (or would have if you could have to get better seats) then stop reading right now.
But these are mere sideshows to what is roiling Japan's gangsters, many observers say.
Yeah. What is roiling the Yakuza, probably, is the police, suddenly and with no reason, obstructing business.
NOTE: If you think we have a government and pay taxes to them so that they can control who buys and sells Sumo tickets and at what price, or that our government should be here to legislate morality such as gambling and drinking, you are in the wrong country. North Korea or Saudi Arabia is probably best for you.
After decades of unspoken agreements between police and yakuza that have allowed organized crime to operate with relative impunity in everything from gambling on sport and illegal casinos to human trafficking and prostitution, the national police are cracking down on Japan's top yakuza gang, energized not only by the embarrassment over the sumo debacle but also by the emergence of a dynamic new National Police Agency (NPA) chief last year who wants to curtail the broad influence of yakuza in society.
Yes. It was business as usual... Until recently.... Those Yakuza bad guys! I know they've been bothering me and everyone else I know everyday since I've been living here. How can any of us sleep at night? Wow! What a litany of bad stuff. Let's see. What was that list again?
"...gambling on sport and illegal casinos to human trafficking and prostitution..."
Well, I'm sorry Mr. Nazi, but, seriously, as adults, I think adult people are generally old enough and responsible enough to decide and can gamble all they want when and where they want. Sometimes I don't mind a little Black Jack but I usually leave because I get clobbered real quick. I'm not really a gambler, but am not against anyone having a little enjoyment. Why the government is legislating casinos and gambling is beyond their reach of power as originally set up in the constitution. And prostitution? You kidding me? When two consenting adults wish to partake in sex, it's none of anyone's else's damn business!
But! Human trafficking!? Wow! That's another story! I didn't know that the Yakuza were said to be involved with human trafficking? This has to stop! Well, they must be doing human trafficking since the CS Monitor says they are, right? Let's click on that link at the venerated Christian Science Monitor and get more information on that!
I clicked on the link for an article entitled: View From the Streets. How the Eliot Ness of Japan's Drug World Gets the Job Done. But you know what? I couldn't find one single word about human trafficking. Nope. Not one. I did find a fluff story about some cops named Umeda, Kanda, and Shimada and their neighborhood and how they busted people doing and selling drugs but not a word about human trafficking.
Bullsh*t! Don't believe me. Go to the link and check for yourself. I can't find any mention of this human trafficking.
Finally, considering the above, and this next piece of evidence, here is why I believe that this entire affair stems from a blatant US government attempt to steal monies (now possibly forcing the Japanese government to cooperate along side even more so than originally envisioned). This has everything to do with propping up our failed economies and banking institutions (caused malfeasance and corruption) and our government hand in helping those institutions ruin our economy.
In this small and completely banal piece of evidence I want to submit to you, lies a piece of a larger puzzle, in my opinion. It is a totally and completely illegal action on the part of insurance companies in Japan. Please refer to:
TOKYO (majirox news) — Life insurance companies will include a provisional clause in their guidelines which allows them to deny coverage to the yakuza, Japan’s organized crime groups, according to life insurance industry officials.
The Japanese insurers will need approval for the provision by Japan’s Financial Service Agency (FSA), which they are expected to receive. Once the provision is approved, it will be implemented immediately.
The clause will allow insurance companies to cancel payments for injuries or death if the person is a member of a crime group. In other words, the insurer will have the right to refuse to cover anyone who belongs to a gang, which is involved in fraud or other criminal activities. They could even refuse to cover a person with a tattoo that is recognized as a symbol of gang membership.
.....
In addition, insurance policy holders or beneficiaries will not be able to collect life insurance if it is learned that they are involved in organized crime.
This is completely outrageous. Regardless of what you think of the Yakuza, this cannot be allowed to stand. What this is really saying is that the insurance companies can deny payment or cancel insurance merely because of association or even guilt by association. Even if death is completely unrelated to that association. Even death by cancer, any disease and even old age!
So just because someone is alleged to have gangland ties, when they die a natural death or death by disease or something like that, their children are not allowed to get their life insurance proceeds? Well, hell, why don't we just imprison the children for the crimes of the parents too!
There are so many problems with this, I don't know where to begin! What about a young man who foolishly got a Yakuza tattoo at 20 but left the group at 25 and became an upstanding citizen for the rest of his life? Do they deny payments to his children when he is killed in a car accident or some completely random accident that has nothing to do with anything except that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time?
And what sort of precedent does this set? Will they be able to suddenly change policies (read: contracts) and deny payments to your family because, say, you worked in construction? Or the airlines industry? Or were a member of a racing club?
Laugh now, but remember the words of Martin Niemoller:
First they came for the communists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.
There will be many who say that I am over reacting and that this is just an issue with the Yakuza and the police. I submit that they are wrong. This has to do with US government pressure on our lives and the way we want to live and everything to do with Wall Street banksterism.
This is a war between rivals gangs. The biggest and most deadly of those rival gangs is the US government who has probably killed more people all over the world in the last 48 hours than the Yakuza have killed in their entire existence.
As the US government is at war with (and bombing innocent civilians) at least 5 nations in the mid-east, about to start a war in Pakistan, in Syria, and, later Iran, and in confrontations with even her own people today, this has nothing to do with the Yakuza bothering the public but has everything to do with the US government and the status quo doing everything it can to keep our casino economy rolling for as long as possible, wherever possible.
It most certainly was not the Yakuza who caused the 2008 stock market crash and it most certainly wasn't the Yakuza who has caused 20 + years of severe Japanese economic problems caused by government initiated easy credit, easy money and propping up zombie banks.
Anyone who cannot see what the true motivation of cracking down on the Yakuza (as a symptom of a much bigger problem - and not with the Yakuza) has not been paying attention and watches too much TV... Which, by the way, is exactly what the government wants you to do.
Don't be fooled. See the bigger picture. Who are the real criminals here?
More on US government and bankers fraud against Libya: Goldman Sachs Rips Off Libya, Donald Trump Admits Screwing Gaddafi:
"It's one generation from a pickaxe to a putter. And the next generation from a tuxedo to a tramp." - Will Rogers
Yesterday's blog post about motivating children reminded me of what is considered the ways to greatness for classical pianists. It is called, Three Generations to Greatness. It is what the classical music world considers the minimum for a pianist to be in order to become truly great. Basically; it takes three generations of family effort and diligence to create one piano child prodigy.
I thought that this story might be useful to those of us who sometimes wonder why they are on this earth and what their purpose is.
I say this because, I, too, sometimes wonder what the legacy is that I will leave on this planet after I die. I have begun to have these thoughts because of the recent death of my own father. Of course, I loved my mother and father and miss them so... But what was their legacy?
Take my father for example, his legacy is much different than my mother's because things changed greatly for our family after my mom's death. Our family fell apart. What does that make my dad's legacy?
A former marine. Three sons who do not speak to each other. Some very old photos of his mom and family and a marine dress uniform that he left to me to care for as he said he wasn't sure that my brothers would do so properly.
Is that all? I'm sure that's all. Unfortunately. And, when you stop to think about it, in the overall picture of things, that's just about all for 99.99999999999% of all the world's people.
In 2003, I started writing for blogs. In 2005, I wrote my first and only book. Why did I write these books? Well, I wanted to leave a legacy... Something to be remembered by. I want to write another book soon too. Oh, and I want to do oil painting again...
Alas...
I look at the old and tattered photos that my father gave me of his dear mother. Is this her legacy?
The other day, I went to meet a friend named Kieruto Duits who runs a business called "Old Photos of Japan." There Kieruto takes old photos of the people and places of old Japan and lovingly immortalizes them for future use. This seems a wonderful way to leave a legacy. Guys like Kieruto, I know, will take care of my old photos of my mother taken before the war. I am going to give mine to him. I am also going to give him some important family photos of Japanese soldiers before WWII.
But I digress...
Most of us haven't an very old photos or we haven't written a book (my book is terrible and a waste!) neither do most of us paint like Picasso or sing like the Beatles nor compose like Mozart....
But! Aha! There is a key there! Mozart! Music!... Maybe our legacy is not in and of ourselves, perhaps our legacy is in our children! The title of this post is "Three Generations to Greatness." It is true. "Three Generations to Greatness" is what is said it takes, in the world of classical music, for a child to become a great pianist.
Let me explain how, what you do today, can lead to greatness someday using the example of "Three Generations to Greatness." First off, more detail as to what exactly is the three generations.
Here's the story: It is said that it requires three generations of effort and parenting to build a piano genius. The typical story goes like this:
Grandfather works hard as a day laborer. He struggles and saves. He builds a good business. He doesn't want his children to struggle and suffer as he did. He wants them to become doctors or lawyers. He wants them to study culture and art. He makes the children take piano lessons. He works hard and sends them to good universities.
The children never become good pianists. Why? Because, after lessons, when they are home, there is no one to play and practice with. After all, we all know that you become proficient or great when you practice and hone your craft with someone who knows that craft.
Later, the children grow up. They become doctors or lawyers. They want their children to have the same or better. They want their children (the grandchildren) to study culture and art. They make the children take piano lessons.They work hard to send their children to good universities.
Same as grandfather, right? Wrong. Now, these grandchildren, when they come home from piano practice (once a week for one hour) they have someone who knows how to play and practice. They have someone at home whom they can enjoy the piano with.
If that someone is their mother and she is working at home, then these children have a massive head-start on others who have no one to practice or play with.
This is why, say traditional musicians, such as American country or Jazz musicians, are thought to be so great: They start practicing with grandpa when they were little kids. That's why they are so proficient and such awesome musicians when they are 25-years-old!
The moral of the story? Even though what you do now may not seem, at first, to be any sort of creation of a legacy, remember that what you teach your children, they will teach theirs.
Whether with an introduction or none, the good salesman will always be able to open doors and start conversations when their approach is totally geared upon providing a solution to the prospective customers needs.
The client is not interested in what you want to sell. The client is only interested in finding a solution to their problem.
If you can be a part of that solution, you will be a great salesman and make big money. So remember to always think of your prospective customer needs first. Never meet a new client and start discussing your product. Always start discussions on their problems and needs. Sell people what they want to buy. Sell them a solution to their problems.
Marc Sheffner, a great blogger and teacher, wrote to me and said:
Seriously, tho, tomorrow morning I have this particularly difficult class of young people. Reading your post, I wonder if I have not focused a little too much on what I want them to buy, and assumed that what I'm selling is (of course) a solution for them, one that they want (otherwise they wouldn't be in my class, right?).
Perhaps so, Marc. May I also recommend to you (everybody!), once again, to read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnagie? Please don't take my rcommendation as my foolishly thinking I am wise enough to give any sort of advice to anyone... Trust that I have and need to continually read this book. In fact, I even bought this book for someone who is much smarter than me... My wife! And I gave it to her just a few weeks ago! (OK... Maybe she ain't all that smart. After all, she married me, right? Chuckle!)
Why did I buy this book for my wife? Well, let me give you some back ground. Take a moment to allow me to indulge in what we called in Japan "馬鹿親" Baka Oya (Stupid parents). I am a baka oya. Baka oya are parents who like to brag about their kids too much. So, I guess that means, that all parents are stupid because what parent doesn't want to brag about their kids?
My son plays classical piano. He got a late start and started at 5. (Trust me folks, for the classical piano world, that's a late start). Even though he started late, last year, he won a prestigeous award from the Japan National Piano Teacher's and Instructor's Association. That award put him in the top 20 seven to nine year old piano students in the entire country. We were, of course, so proud!
My son practices, and has always practiced with his mom at least one hour a day, everyday, seven-days-a-week, 365 days a year. Sometimes they practice twice a day for an hour or two hours!) No misses. He does this religiously. Every day. Over and over. There's no stopping.
Now, consider, my friends, what it takes to get a 5 ~ 7-year-old to sit down at a piano and practice hard everyday? Most parents have a hard time getting their children to sit down and be quiet for five minutes! How does one motivate a small child to do something like this? Surely, we all know that yelling and threats do not work. There must be a secret to motivating children.
My wife has been excellent at it!
Recently, though, there's been a trouble a brewing! At least twice, after piano practice with his regular teacher, my wife complained that he figeted and didn't pay attention. On three occassions, recently at home or during practice, either he came down crying or my wife came downstairs and angrily flopped on the sofa in total frustration.
The other day, when this happened for the second time, I asked my wife, "What's wrong?"
She then started complaining and reciting again the troubles I just listed. Ironically, I had been rereading "How to Win Friends and Influence People"... In one chapter in the book, Carnagie refers to getting children to do something they don't want to do. In that chapter he speaks of finding the child's motivation and finding a way to spark that.
Carnagie recalls an interesting story in the book. A woman complained to Carnagie that her sons at college would never write back to her no matter what she did. She had tried pleading and begging, even threats didn't work. Carnagie bet her that he could get the sons to write back to him immediately.
In Carnagie's letters to the sons (I seem to remember that the boys were his nephews) he wrote something like, "I am proud to hear that you are doing well in college. Please find, enclosed in this letter, a check for $10 to spend on whatever you wish." He then intentionally forgot to enclose the check. Within a few days, both boys had written back "Thank you" notes and politely mentioned that there was no check.
Talk about finding a college student's motivation!
I ordered the book, in Japanese, for my wife. When it arrived, I gave it to her. At first, she seemed insulted. She said,
"I read this book long ago! I know all about it."
Yes. I was sure she has. It would have taken someone quite versed in this knowledge to have gotten a 5-year-old to sit down at a piano for an hour a day - and have that child actually enjoy it! I have read this book too. From reading it, I learned a thing about how to respond to a defensive comment like this one from my wife. I politely and calmly responded.
"Yes. I figured you already know everything in this book. But, since we have been having a small bit of trouble with our son's discipline recently, I reread the book and thought, perhaps, you'd enjoy reading it again too. I thought, perhaps, that maybe we were doing something differently than we were doing before and that, if we thought about it, perhaps we could do things a little bit better."
That totally disarmed her and with a kiss on the cheek, I went off to work.
A few days later, I received an unexpected email from my wife. It said,
"Mike,
I read the book. I know almost everything in it as I have read it before. But sometimes, I see that I have been forgetting to do things this way. This book is so very useful to me. Thank you."
Thank god I reread that book. Had I not, my wife and I might have gotten into a fight about the way things were heading. If I hadn't applied what I learned in that book, here's what probably would have happened:
1) Our son would still not be practicing diligently
2) My wife would be getting angry and frustrated
3) Piano practice would have started turning into a very unpleasant experience for all involved (which might end any future piano dreams)
4) I might get angry at my son and shout at him
5) I might have gotten frustrated with the entire situation and my wife and I would get into fights
6) Nothing positive would have been accomplished.
But, as it turned out, I kindly and politely gave the book to my wife with the words, "Perhaps we could do things a little bit better." Here's what happened:
1) My wife and I have a closer relationship and understanding
2) My wife was reminded of the magic she used to get her son to practice diligently and seriously before
3) Practice has been going well
4) My son is happy because, instead of anger, he gets praise
5) Only positive things have been accomplished.
What a relief. And it's all so simple.
I highly recommend "How to Win Friend's and Influence People" by Dale Carnagie whether you are dealing with clients or staff or even your own kids... Because, after all, we all ARE children inside.
Learn to motivate that child and you will prosper! Learn to motivate that child who lives in all of us and you will be extremely successful!
NOTE: My son's most popular video on Youtube has over 7,000 views! It was made when he was only six! See it here:
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