Amazingly Enough, In Spite of Us Parents, Most Kids Turn Out Alright

I think it is safe to say that pretty much all parents worry about their children's future. Of course we worry about their health and safety, but I'm talking about something else; I'm talking about worrying about their future as in, "Can they get a job after getting out of school?" "Will they be productive members of society?" or, even worse, "Will they straighten out and stay out of jail?"

Some parents might laugh at that last one but I don't. I didn't. When my two older daughters were junior high school students, I seriously worried if they were ever going to straighten out and fly right. In fact, in my oldest daughters case, I was so worried that she'd lead a life of crime, wind up with no family and be homeless, that I didn't care if she married this Yakuza gangster guy she was hanging out with! I actually thought my daughter marrying a Yakuza was probably a good thing. Please refer to and article that I wrote six years ago entitled, "Yakuza: Japanese Modern-Day Cowboys"


My oldest daughter was seriously dating a Yakuza a while back. She still could be, I don't know. I hope she is. I wish she'd settle down with a nice, hard-working guy who makes a decent living. When my ex-wife found out that Diane (not her real name) was dating this Yakuza-guy, everyone on their side of the family freaked out. They called me and told me to do something. "Do something about what?" I asked. I was happy about my daughter dating a Yakuza. I mean, every family needs a doctor, a lawyer, and a gangster in it to keep the family together. What's the problem? Some readers may think I jest here, but I certainly do not.  

Awww. How cute! Who could have know that a few years later they'd be criminal monsters? Here we are celebrating 七五三 (Shichi-go-san) 7-5-3 children's day.

Seriously folks, these two seemingly honest and cute little girls had started growing up and heading for big trouble. 


By 12 years old, my oldest daughter had become "Gaki Taisho" (ガキ大将) "Boss of the kids" at school. By 14 years old, she was constantly in trouble and in danger of being expelled. By 15 she was constantly in trouble with the police and getting arrested for all sorts of dumb things like stealing motorcycles and whatever else wasn't bolted down.


I think when she just turned 17, she did something really bad (for the umpteenth time) and almost had to spend one year of her life in Juvenile Delinquency prison. This would have been a very bad outcome because, as statistics show, once in prison, a huge percentage of those spend the rest of their lives going in and out of prison so the police and court systems are hesitant to send young people into prison in the first place. Thank heaven for that! 


The second daughter, whom I had never imagined to be the terror the first one was, was also guilty of many crimes and, as a 15-year-old, actually the mastermind of a group of minors who were committing grand larceny. So bad were her and her friend's crime escapades that they drew the attention of the  Metropolitan police of Tokyo and, I'd find out later, that a three-month dragnet was set out to catch them. Oh and catch them they did! And, when they did, to my total and utter astonishment, it made the front pages of every major Japanese newspaper in the country!


Now, I'm all for thinking big and when I was 17, I was arrested and made the front pages of the newspaper, but that was only local. My daughter, at 15, made national news! (Kind of reminds me of Richard Branson's teacher telling him that he's, "Either going to prison or going to be a millionaire.")

Former crime syndicate leaders

What made the news so shocking was that this crime syndicate that had been busted by police sting was guilty of devising a brilliant plan whereby they stole in the neighborhood of over $10,000 a day, in broad daylight, right on video camera, and the police had no idea of what they looked like!!! (How's that for the creative mind of children?) 


The police thought they were out to catch old time Yakuza gangsters who had come out with this brilliant plot. But the police were dumbfounded when they arrested the perpetraitors of this devious deal and they were all 15 & 16-year-old girls!


Yeah. 15 & 16-year-old girls with their Hello Kitty bags and designer clothes and stuff. Real desperadoes!


I couldn't believe it either. I think I started off on a three day drunk when this news broke. Thank god my wife handled all of this for me. I was too much of a wreck to do anything...

What I looked like (and felt like) in those days

I wonder if these two girls didn't do these things to make me pay more attention to them? That could be the case. Come to think of it, I was too busy working and too busy being a doofus to be too much of a good father. I blame myself for these incidences. I wrote about these regrets once. I summed all this up in, A Message For Fathers: Most Men Die With Regrets

I have four children. Julie and Sheena were born to my first wife. That wife and I divorced after seven years of marriage and I raised those two girls by myself. I remarried three years later and Wendy was born. When Wendy (17) got sick as a baby and then recovered from cancer, she wasn't able to live with her sisters for at least 6 years due to chemo-therapy treatments so her mother and I divorced and Wendy went away to live with her mother. 

I remarried again for the third time and Wray (8) was born.

Julie and Sheena often had trouble at school and sometimes with the police when they were teenagers. I regret that I didn't spend enough time with them, but with trying to pay to raise them, I didn't have the time I needed. I hired several nannies and they raised them. One nanny was the main one, but she wasn't full-time. I will always regret that I missed their childhood and didn't spend the time with them that I should have.

Yes. I didn't spend the time with them that I should have. That time is now gone. I wish I had paid more attention when they were school kids. But, I think, as the public education system falters in the USA and Japan, I could be a symptom of one of the reasons: Today's parent does not spend enough time with their kids and expects the school and the teachers to raise those kids and teach them in the parent's place. This, folks, doesn't work well and I think we have 40 years of history to prove it.


My I get slightly off the subject for a moment?

The other day, I had a nice exchange with a friend, Andrew, who runs the It's a Wonderful Rife blog. Andrew was a professional teacher in Japan and writes some very interesting stories about his life here. Andrew has asked me why the teacher's in Japan take such a strong parental role in raising the children and why they are reluctant to notify the parents of trouble. He asked me "Mike, are the parents are ever notified of wrongdoings by the children?" 

I responded: 

"Andrew, nowadays I think, the school's are ever reluctant to tell the parents about the hell the kids are raising because of how many useless and incompetent parents we have running around "raising" kids ... My wife was just telling me this morning about a father who was unhappy with some sort of discipline his son's school meted out to his son. So unhappy was this father that he decided to show some parental guidance and express his displeasure by going to the school at night and setting it on fire. Well, as "Mr. Firemountian" (火山) was trying to light the school on fire, someone saw him and he got his butt arrested. Funny that."

I continued; 

"Let me tell you about my girls when they were 14 or so... Terrors, they were. They'd do all sorts of things, pranks, hijinks, felonies... Yes. You read that last one right. I'd get calls from the school... Other times I'd get calls from the police. The oldest daughter got arrested for something and then was put of "juvenile delinquent" parole for a year where she had to appear before a parole officer once a week otherwise she'd have to sit in jail. I was such a useless father that at one time, these calls from the school, the police, and being summoned by both, got to be so much that I finally told both the school and the cops, "Don't call me anymore!" I also told my daughters, "Look, do what you want. Just don't have the police or the principal calling me anymore, alright?" Oh the memories!"

By the way, this little episode shows the troubles the schools and police have with parents. I didn't think I was a bad parent (I realize that I was a terrible one now) but the school and the police (juvenile division) are actually reformers and are trying their best to keep the kids out of future trouble. They are trying to connect with the parents and communicate so that they can work together to keep the kids out of trouble and from falling in with the wrong people. What are they to do when the the kids aren't nearly as screwed up as the parents?


Is it any wonder that the kids are screwed up when they have parents who are people like me?

Let me tell you about another vignette about another girl who was my oldest daughter's friend when they were both 14 years old or so. One day, this girl, I think her name was Yuko, came over to visit. She stayed over night at our home a few nights. I would find out later that she was arrested by the police, put in handcuffs, and taken to the big Shibuya police station. What she was arrested for I never found out.

Shibuya Police Station. Seat of Government power and incompetence.

Anyway, this Shibuya police station is one of the biggest police stations in all of Tokyo. Get this: While she was sitting in handcuffs on the forth floor of this huge police station, with cops crawling around everywhere, this 14-year-old desperado escaped! No kidding! She told me that, when no one was looking,  she just got up and walked into the women's restroom and then walked out of the building like nothing happened. When she told me this, I just couldn't believe it. How incompetent could those dumb police be? 


I never did find out how she got the handcuffs off either but knowing my oldest daughter, that wouldn't be a problem in the world.



As she and my daughter were telling me all this stuff my eyes grew wider. Look, I wasn't an angel when I was a kid either and had been arrested a few times before myself (pranks and raising hell) so what these kids were doing didn't really surprise me. But when she and my daughter told me that Yuko was making good money collecting $400 a pop being a prostitute for businessmen coming up from Osaka, I hit the roof. They told me that Yuko had to go right then and meet this guy for a business transaction. I said, "No!"



I told her to stay there and got a hold of her dad and what a mistake that was! This father was even more useless than me! He didn't care about his 14 year old daughter prostituting herself at all. All he cared about was if she was going to join a motorcycle gang with my daughter or not!!!! Really!



I wanted to slap him. These two girls had drawn pictures in their junior high school class notebooks that showed pink colored 50cc motor scooters and called it something stupid like, "Pink Dragons" and this terrified Yuko's father. "Order them to not make a bike gang!" the father pleaded! 

Yeah. Really scary stuff

What a poor excuse for a dad. And I thought I was bad. The drawings of the "Pink Dragons" motorcycle gang looked vicious and deadly. Yeah. Real deadly. It all looked like something "cute" you'd see in a Japanese comic book like Sailor Moon would have as her evil twin sister; they even had their own colors and cool pink matching jackets and pants and everything!



And this father was worried about their comic book fantasies more than the sick fantasies some pervert was going to have with his child. Get that? HIS OWN CHILD I wanted to strangle him. WHAT PLANET WAS HE LIVING ON? 



Moron! I hope Yuko has turned out okay. Maybe she met a nice guy and got married and, at 21, has three kids, a husband who drinks too much and works very hard in a blue collar job like construction or driving a truck. The typical Japanese blue collar family; they don't have a lot, but they have each other and that's enough. I do wish that she is happy.  



But back to my girls... The few escapades I've described above (and those are just a few) were a long time ago and luckily for me (and my daughters) they straightened out and now have good jobs where they are doing what they like to do... In spite of my poor parenting. The oldest is a professional jazz singer who is signed to one of the most famous agencies in all of Japan and will have her album debut this year and the second one is pursuing her dream to be a world-class lighting director and is now gainfully employed at the most famous concert/dance/event hall in Tokyo. 



As for other kids who had troubles before: Several years ago, I hosted a very popular morning drive time FM radio show in Tokyo and we'd often have events whereby I could meet the listeners and the fans. Sometimes hundreds of them would attend these get-togethers. We became friends. Many of them told me of their own youth; some of them were trouble-makers; in trouble with school and the law. Some of them had spent time in jail. But many of them told me that, one day, they realized on their own that they had to straighten out and stay out of trouble because daddy and mommy aren't going to be there forever to help them. Now, these folks have jobs and families and people (big and little) who depend on them and love them very much.



It is the way it should be.



So parents, I think the times comes for all of us to worry about our kids. But fear not! Be patient and try to understand. I always try to remember the crazy stuff I did when I was young.



It seems, no matter how much we, as parents screwup our kids, it seems to me that, in most cases, somehow they are able to judge what is right and turn their lives out for the best.


If your kids are in school now and get into some sort of trouble; instead of you, the parent, telling them that they need to pay more attention, perhaps you, the parent, should pay more attention to them. 


It couldn't hurt. 



Make sure that your kids know that you love them and care.... If they are having troubles at school or elsewhere, find comfort in the fact that these things usually pass. Try not to be a negative part of this experience.


 

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My Son Died Yesterday

Have you ever stopped to wonder just how close  - just how many seconds away - you or a loved one are from total and complete disaster? 

Specifically, I am talking about the disaster of death. The death of a loved one, a child, or even yourself? How often do you think about how different your world would be without that child or loved one? 


Perhaps I am strange because I think about these things often. Perhaps it's because I think I shouldn't be here and am very lucky to be here - I should be dead. I think this way because of past experiences and I often wonder what my purpose in life is.


I probably think about life and death more often than would be considered "healthy."


This might sound morbid, but I have a point to make to you, so bear with me: Have you ever stopped to appreciate how many times during the day that you or your child are just inches or seconds away from death? Really! Have you ever stopped to consider that accidents might be occurring all around us? The near miss, the "almosts" the "very lucky" near escapes? Some of these "missed" accidents should have happened but, by some miracle, large or small, didn't? 

I do think about these things a lot. In fact, I did just yesterday and I certainly didn't want to, nor did I expect to. I thought about it as we were having fun...


Yesterday, I saw my child's death not ten meters (yards) right in front of my face and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop it. He was dead on the spot. A truck hit him from behind and dragged his body 25 meters down the road under the tires...


Well, that's what could have happened. That's what did happen, excepting, by some twist of fate, by the grace of god, the truck was seconds past us and hurtling down the street. That's what I saw happening in my mind...


It was an ordinary Monday afternoon. We had just came home from school and my son wanted to ride his bike down to the river. He rarely rides his bike and I want him to enjoy sports and the outdoors more so I always encourage him to walk more and ride his bike more.

Yesterday was very close to being the last day we ever did this

Right now, though, it's the middle of winter here in Japan, and quite cold, so it seems strange that my son wants to suddenly ride his bike all the time. But, I didn't want to deny his wishes especially when I can't get him to ride enough.


We came home from school and bundled up in warm clothes and he put on his bicycle helmet and off we went. We usually ride down to Tamagawa river through a wonderful park trail that we call "the magic trail." We call it that because I haven't bothered to find out what the real name of the trail and park are.


It was a fun ride down to the end of the trail down by the river.


We headed back towards home. On the way back, we have to cross a busy street named "Tsutsumi Dori." This is a street that is cursed with quite heavy traffic. The speed limit is 40 kilometers per hour (about 24 mph) but, as drivers are wont to do, most people drive 50 to 60 kilometers per hour (between 30 ~ 40 mph). This doesn't sound too fast but trust me, in Japan roads are very narrow, and when a 8 ton truck rumbles by you not one meter (3 feet) from your head, you can feel their force and power. The trucks are there because there is a cement factory up the road so these large cement mixer trucks are often barrelling up the street to load up on cement there. 


It is a busy street and dangerous.


It is dangerous enough that there is a crosswalk, not far from the magic trail, that we use to cross that street. Seriously, folks I am one to not usually wait for green lights at crosswalks, but this street is so narrow, and the cars are going so fast, and there are so many side street tributaries that anyone really has to be careful when crossing this street. I always use the crosswalk to cross this particular street.


Usually, it's not the car that you see that is dangerous, it's the ones you don't see that are dangerous.

A rare photo of Tsutsumi Dori when there are no cars on it. Anyway, from this photo you can see that this is a narrow street and if a child jumps out onto it, and you are doing 40 mph, you can't stop in time.

I was walking behind my son as we were on the return trip. We had just come out of the magic trail and onto the side of Tsutsumi Dori. That's when it happened; not 80 meters (yards) before the red light that marks the crosswalk, my son on his small bike, abruptly made a very sharp right turn and started crossing the busy street! I couldn't believe my eyes.


My world stopped and began turning in slow motion. He entered the busy road without even a glance to his right rear where cars would be coming up, at great speeds, right behind him. Within a eighth of a second, he was 1/2 way into the lane. Even if a vehicle had seen him enter the lane, he did it so suddenly that they could have never stopped in time. I expected to hear screeching tires....


The sounds blurred. The seconds were going by as if they were minutes. I wanted to shout "Stop!" but I couldn't, he was already in the lane. I thought, "He's dead!" In slow motion, I looked behind me to my right, where I expected to see a truck or car slamming on their brakes... Never in time to stop... It would be impossible to stop.


That's when I saw what should have happened. The truck hitting my son from behind and hurtling him dozens of meters in the air and under the wheels of an oncoming vehicle... His life and the crying of my wife and her parents flashed in front of my eyes... The guilt... My fault.... 


But....... thank god....... there wasn't any vehicle there. The lane was clear.


As my son was nearing the middle line dividing the lanes... I looked towards the oncoming traffic lane and there was a motorcycle coming up at high speeds but the driver of the bike saw my son from a distance and slowed down.


I screamed!


.........


After the motorcycle passed, immediately, as fast as I could, I crossed the street and quite angrily began berating my son for crossing the street without even looking for cars... I was shouting at him furiously! He knew I was very angry and began crying. 


He crossed busy street on his bicycle without even looking! I was so angry that I could feel that I was losing control of myself. I wanted to slap him in the face but I only whacked him on the back - he was wearing a heavy jacket so it was light - but when I kicked him in the ass (literally) and kicked him pretty hard, he was bawling. I am ashamed to say that it was the third time in his life that I have ever spanked or struck him.

Japanese cement truck. See the narrow space on the right. Imagine this: The truck is doing 40. A kid abruptly turns a hard right a few feet in front of this truck. Is the truck going to be able to stop?

Last night, I was drained. I realized just how close I was to having my life turned upside down. I realized just how close I was to losing one of the big motivations and purposes in my life. I'm sure that, if he had been hit by a car, he'd have died or been permanently scarred or crippled for life.


How many seconds did we miss that one by? Two? Three?


If that had happened, I probably would have drank heavily last night and been totally useless for the next six months. I'd probably lose my job and want to kill myself. And all for what? Because of an accident that could have been avoided and because of carelessness.


Oh how close these things happen to all of us and our children everyday. I think we must all appreciate that fact. We must be thankful for the truly wonderful things we have.


This morning, I had a nice talk with my son. I told him that "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." I think he definitely understands just how lucky he was yesterday. 


I certainly do.


There are two morals to today's story. First: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." I feel my son was given a chance (me too). Actually that's the second time something like that happened to him. The first time was when he was 4 or so, and, suddenly, without any warning, he dashed out and ran onto a busy road. I was furious then too and spanked him.


We cannot hold our children on leashes or in chains all their lives. We cannot be sure what fate awaits us or them. All we can know is that today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Let us all live for today and appreciate the things we have.


The second moral is this: Driver's remember that there are children around like my child, who, for some completely unexplained reason, will do things like jump out into traffic. If you hit one of these children, your life and the life of your family life could be ruined. 


Remember that speed limits are not targets. Slow down and drive carefully. 


If you have the time, do yourself a favor and watch this short video:

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Spending Time With Your Kid

It's a day after Christmas and things have really started to wind down. Most dad's are home from work - excepting in Japan and other non-Christian countries and, trust me, there's lots of those. So most of these dad's will take the time, hopefully, to spend some time just being a kid and playing with their kid.

There's nothing more important that a dad can do with their kid than just being with them and doing what the kid wants to do. That's so important. We always take the kids someplace to do what we want to do. But how often do we sit right down with them and do exactly what they want to do? 

Guam December 2011

Sure. "I do that all the time." But do you really? I think most dads, when the child says, "Daddy! Let's do this (or that)!" Will do it for 10 - 20 minutes or so, but get bored quickly and stand up and say, "Well, that's enough for daddy right now" and walk off.

I am reminded of my son wanting to play with Thomas the Tank Engine toys when he was 3 or 4. I thought it was totally boring. That is, until, I got right down and looked at it from his point of view. I got low to the ground and imagined that I was the train conductor and that I was driving the trains. I had to slow down at the dangerous curves and be careful of trains crossing my way. I actually became involved with the game and interacted, rather than just push some cars around in an uninterested fashion.

It soon became fun! The next thing I knew was my wife came up to us and smiled, "My! You two seem to be having lots of fun!" It was! It was fun and time went by really quickly. The next thing you know two hours had passed. We had a great old time.

I am reminded of that time often and, since it is the Christmas and New Year's holiday season, I'd like to remind you fathers and mothers too (but I suspect that most mothers don't need reminding). Recently, I went to a southern Pacific Ocean island with my wife and son and we stayed at a resort. The resort was geared towards families and so they had a water park and a game center. Of course, my son wanted to go to both all the time.

The first day there, I took my son to the pool and water park then to the game center. I found the game center extremely boring as most of the machines were broken and the change machine was in disrepair. Even so, we had  a good time playing Foosball.

The next day. I was exhausted and took a nap. My son was frustrated because he wanted to go play with me. But I had to sleep. After an hour or so of napping, I woke up feeling guilty. That's when it dawned on me again; I am not on vacation here for my pleasure, I am here for his pleasure (we are on vacation after all). I woke up and asked him what he wanted to do.

It was during the day time and he said wanted to go play Foosball. I thought that was a waste of daylight and wanted to tell him, "No! We are going to the pool." but I decided then and there that I would do whatever it was that my son wanted to do.

After all, it was his vacation time too. If he wanted to waste daylight playing Foosball then what difference does it make to me? I'd decided to go have fun with him so whatever he wanted to do was fine by me. I mean, what difference does it make to me if we go Foosball for the first two hours and swimming for the next thirty minutes or so, then swimming for the first hour, then Foosball for the next two hours?

Whatever we do, I had decided that I was going to make him happy by doing what he wanted to do. Whatever it was.

Remember dads and moms... Our true happiness comes in making someone else happy, especially our kids. They aren't going to be kids forever let them enjoy it while they can...

And, if you can allow yourself to do so too, become a kid with them while you play. It is wonderful to return to the purity of our childhood, if even for a moment, if you can.

Try to do this for a day or two this holiday season... I'll bet it will truly be the present that your child remembers. 

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Three Generations to Greatness

"It's one generation from a pickaxe to a putter. And the next generation from a tuxedo to a tramp." - Will Rogers


Yesterday's blog post about motivating children reminded me of what is considered the ways to greatness for classical pianists. It is called, Three Generations to Greatness. It is what the classical music world considers the minimum for a pianist to be in order to become truly great. Basically; it takes three generations of family effort and diligence to create one piano child prodigy. 


I thought that this story might be useful to those of us who sometimes wonder why they are on this earth and what their purpose is.


I say this because, I, too, sometimes wonder what the legacy is that I will leave on this planet after I die. I have begun to have these thoughts because of the recent death of my own father. Of course, I loved my mother and father and miss them so... But what was their legacy?


Take my father for example, his legacy is much different than my mother's because things changed greatly for our family after my mom's death. Our family fell apart. What does that make my dad's legacy?


A former marine. Three sons who do not speak to each other. Some very old photos of his mom and family and a marine dress uniform that he left to me to care for as he said he wasn't sure that my brothers would do so properly.


Is that all? I'm sure that's all. Unfortunately. And, when you stop to think about it, in the overall picture of things, that's just about all for 99.99999999999% of all the world's people.


In 2003, I started writing for blogs. In 2005, I wrote my first and only book. Why did I write these books? Well, I wanted to leave a legacy... Something to be remembered by. I want to write another book soon too. Oh, and I want to do oil painting again...


Alas...


I look at the old and tattered photos that my father gave me of his dear mother. Is this her legacy?


The other day, I went to meet a friend named Kieruto Duits who runs a business called "Old Photos of Japan." There Kieruto takes old photos of the people and places of old Japan and lovingly immortalizes them for future use. This seems a wonderful way to leave a legacy. Guys like Kieruto, I know, will take care of my old photos of my mother taken before the war. I am going to give mine to him. I am also going to give him some important family photos of Japanese soldiers before WWII.


But I digress...


Most of us haven't an very old photos or we haven't written a book (my book is terrible and a waste!) neither do most of us paint like Picasso or sing like the Beatles nor compose like Mozart....


But! Aha! There is a key there! Mozart! Music!... Maybe our legacy is not in and of ourselves, perhaps our legacy is in our children! The title of this post is "Three Generations to Greatness." It is true. "Three Generations to Greatness" is what is said it takes, in the world of classical music, for a child to become a great pianist.


Let me explain how, what you do today, can lead to greatness someday using the example of "Three Generations to Greatness." First off, more detail as to what exactly is the three generations.


Here's the story: It is said that it requires three generations of effort and parenting to build a piano genius. The typical story goes like this:


Grandfather works hard as a day laborer. He struggles and saves. He builds a good business. He doesn't want his children to struggle and suffer as he did. He wants them to become doctors or lawyers. He wants them to study culture and art. He makes the children take piano lessons. He works hard and sends them to good universities. 


The children never become good pianists. Why? Because, after lessons, when they are home, there is no one to play and practice with. After all, we all know that you become proficient or great when you practice and hone your craft with someone who knows that craft.


Later, the children grow up. They become doctors or lawyers. They want their children to have the same or better. They want their children (the grandchildren) to study culture and art. They make the children take piano lessons. They work hard to send their children to good universities. 


Same as grandfather, right? Wrong. Now, these grandchildren, when they come home from piano practice (once a week for one hour) they have someone who knows how to play and practice. They have someone at home whom they can enjoy the piano with.


If that someone is their mother and she is working at home, then these children have a massive head-start on others who have no one to practice or play with.


This is why, say traditional musicians, such as American country or Jazz musicians, are thought to be so great: They start practicing with grandpa when they were little kids. That's why they are so proficient and such awesome musicians when they are 25-years-old! 


The moral of the story? Even though what you do now may not seem, at first, to be any sort of creation of a legacy, remember that what you teach your children, they will teach theirs. 


Treat your children with respect. Learn what motivates them. Help them flourish and bloom. Create your legacy.

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Shocking Video of Little 2-Year-Old Girl in China Getting Run Over by Truck... and Why China Can Never Be Number One

This is a video that has shaken Chinese society to her roots. It shows what China has become. A two-year old girl is hit by a truck and run over. The truck doesn't bother to stop. A second vehicle also runs over the child. A total of eighteen people walk by the critically injured tyke yet no one stops to help until a cleaning lady happens by.

This is a very shocking video. Parental discretion is advised.

That poor dear child. This tears my heart out.


I have been to China several times and have seen how people will not lift a finger to help someone laying in the road. It is truly shocking. Some westerners who go to China and do help people in the streets are often celebrated on TV as some sort of heroes!


Some people have told me that China today is that way because of years of poverty and the government doing little to help so that people have come to think that they must fend for themselves and that other people do not matter.


In 2010, I was the marketing director for a Macau based airlines and, one day, the government of China revoked the airline's license causing nearly 5,000 Japanese to be stranded. That's just one example, but that sort of thing would be impossible in Japan. The Japanese government might revoke a license, but they'd make damn sure the people were taken care of and could get home first.


The Chinese government? I don't know what to think.


It is for this reason, and the related causes and symptoms, that I do not believe China can ever be number one. The social fabric of that country has come apart and there is no respect for private property and the concept of social responsibility has virtually disappeared. 


Mish Shedlock has his own comments about this video. He wrote:

There is quite a difference between failing to act out of 


fear for yourself or life vs. complete indifference as to 


what happens to a little girl run over by a van. 


The video represents the tragic state of everyday affairs in China.

The Yuan will not become the new world reserve currency.

China does not have deep enough capital markets or deep enough bond markets. China does not respect human or property rights, and contrary to popular belief there are so many problems with being the world's reserve currency that Chinese leadership does not even want it.

Mish has more at: 

Must See Heart Wrenching Video of Moral Deterioration in China

and 

Feedback on China Video Story from Mike in Tokyo Rogers, Sculptor Hopen, Others

Japanese people say that China is a very "恐ろし国"

　(very scary country). Things like this video do 

nothing to dispel this kind of thinking. 

I am also very saddened to report that this little

girl has died due to her injuries.

May god bless her soul.

More details: http://duke1.tbo.com/content/2011/oct/21/210905/chinese-toddler-dies-after-getting-run-over-ignore/news-breaking/

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The Scourge That is Much Worse than Radiation

Surely, the accident at Fukushima has uprooted many people and changed their lives forever. It is under debate how many people will have their health affected by this disaster.


This article is about another hazard that is afflicting the youth of today. This hazard, this disaster, is going on right now all over the western world; and it is going on right in front of people - and these children's parent's faces - sometimes with those parent's blessing no less! 


This scourge is a slow killer. It destroys minds and imaginations. It is draining the lifeblood out of our youth. Just go to any American city and you will see hordes of obese children who are involved in this past time and, no, I'm not talking about junk food - although that can be said much about.

Previous generation role model

This unstoppable tsunami of brain damage is destroying lives right in front of our faces yet very few are doing anything to stop it. It is a scourge that is destroying the minds of youth today.


Make no mistake about it, even though this horrible infliction is widespread, there are those in the medical community who have been ringing the alarms bells, especially those involved in the area of psychology and physiology, but their voices are rarely heard. They haven't the power to make the dangers well known or to spread the word among the vast public at large. 


The medical community hasn't the marketing or promotional money or ability to take on this giant that is ravaging the minds of today's youth. The big business behind this scourge can buy all the advertising they could possibly want or need in order to poison the minds of the children today. 


But these big companies are not the worst offenders. The worst offenders are, in fact, the parents of these children who are damaged by this now common "disease." It is because the parents actually condone this disease and allow it into their homes. 


The changes that this scourge are causing amongst the youth today can be classified as a mutation. Specifically as a Spontaneous Mutation with one small difference.


A Spontaneous Mutation is defined as:


Spontaneous mutations occur without exposure to any obvious mutagenic agent. Sometimes DNA nucleotides shift without warning to a different chemical form (know as an isomer) which in turn will form a different series of hydrogen bonds with it's partner. This leads to mistakes at the time of DNA replication.


I suppose the disease I'm talking about now cannot be classified as Spontaneous Mutation as, the definition of Spontaneous Mutation is that it will lead to mistakes in replication. Well if, "mistakes in replication" means reproduction, then this definition won't work. The youth afflicted with the problems I am talking about couldn't possibly ever reproduce as they could never get a girlfriend. They seem unable to hold even the most primitive conversations, how could they possibly get a girlfriend? And even if they did somehow manage to get a girlfriend, they could never support a family as they will be too dumb and/or brain-dead to ever hold a decent job higher than flipping hamburgers.


Great! So they become drags on society. 


See? While radiation poisoning is rare, I'm talking about a common affliction that is sending our already wasted youth off the cliff to oblivion. The worst cases of this group won't ever be able to hold a job and will always be sponging off mom and dad or wind up in a crap job or be homeless.


Because of this affliction, the victims seem to lose the ability to perform satisfactorily in a social environment. What I mean is that they have terrible social skills and cannot converse or interact with other people. This is a problem when you are a monkey in a gregarious group of monkeys, er, excuse me, I meant to say a Homo Sapien..

This disease is actually worse than excessive TV watching for the mind. Everyone knows TV is brain damage. I've written about that before in Plug in Drug Redux and Plug in Drug where I pointed out: 

The TV is actually a drug. But its dangers are even worse than anyone suspects. Married couples think, "Without a TV, my husband and I would have nothing to talk about" (I've heard this many times) but these people have it backwards. Because they have a TV, the couples don't talk about important things and make the effort at spiritual growth (no I'm not talking about religion).

Have you figured out the disease yet? It's worse than TV because TV is left at home. This brain damage is portable and carried around all the time. Let me give you some more hints:


In Japan, this summer, I was at a birthday party for my then seven-year-old son. One of the parents told me that his son was just dropped from third grade to second grade. The father was quite puzzled and upset. He later related that he thought it had something to do with having to ride the bus to school. Last year, he said, his son didn't have to ride the bus and he got good grades. Over the summer they moved and now his son has to ride the bus and his son's grades have fallen through the floor.


Hmmm? Could riding the bus be the only culprit here?


Upon further inquiry (and being suspicious of the influence of TV) I asked some more questions. It seems that his son hated riding the bus at first (but loves it now) because the father said that his son had said he had no friends on the bus because "all the other kids had a Nintendo DS." 


"Aha!" I thought. Now we're getting somewhere. The father then told me that he bought a Nintendi DS for his son and now his son likes riding the bus.


I suspect that his son likes the DS. Being on the bus gives him a place to play the DS by himself. Whereas before, the son didn't have a DS so the other kids who did didn't talk to his son. Now, the other kids don't talk to his son either, but at least he has a DS to play with.


The dad confessed he regretted buying the DS as his son now will refuse to go anywhere without the DS and the father actually admitted that he has to use the DS as a bribe to get the child to do regular chores like clean up his room, do his homework, eat dinner...


Doh! The law of unintended consequences can be a bitch!


This father is a sorry failure as a parent and this kid is headed into a world of trouble.


If you are a parent, I hope you read the above and slap yourself on the forehead too. I haven't any kind words for what this father has done to his child.


What will this kid turn out like? You know. You've seen these kids everywhere. It is these kids who "have friends" but don't talk to them. These kids sit on the train together like robots and they all play hand held games while speaking only a sparse a word to each other every few minutes. 


Talk about excellent communication and social skills these games must be teaching these children! Just like you and I and our friends when we were children (HEAVY SARCASM!)


These kids who are zombified by these hand held games are heading for a bad future. Let me tell you about one I saw last night.


He was about 15 or 16-years-old. We were at a fine restaurant and at the next table, there was a family of eight or so having a birthday dinner for what looked like the grandfather. While some of this family spent time talking with the nice old man, two of this dysfunctional family were fixated on their iPhones (a different sad story there) but at least those two people spoke to the nice old guy a few times. 


The kid with the DS? I didn't see him raise his eyes once from the DS for the entire time they were there, which was about 2 hours.


I can just see the situation at home for that family now:


Mom (Divorced): "Junior put down that game and get ready to go to grandpa's birthday dinner." (Repeat 5 or 6 times with no answer)


Junior (Not looking up, finally responds): "I'm not going!"


Argument ensues with Junior not taking his eyes off the game even once (it's safer in that world after all). Finally mom loses her temper.


Mom (Screaming and throwing dishes and breaking them): "Put that down! We've had this conversation a hundred times and I'm not saying it again!"


Junior: "OK. I'll go as long as I can take my DS."


Argument continues. But under time pressures, Mom relinquishes and the family heads out to dinner. Junior never takes his eyes off the DS. They have their typical "wonderful" dinner for their typically wonderful dysfunctional family.


Now, dear reader and parent of elementary school child. Why would you want to do this to your kid? But, if you do, Mr. or Mrs. Parent... If you do give one of these gaming devices to your kid for whatever reason, all I can say is, "Thanks!" 


In the new economy jobs will be tough and our kids will need every advantage that they can get to survive, get a good education and job and make a good living. That parents like the ones who buy DS and gaming devices for their kids are stupid enough to do this to their children makes things all that much easier for my child and parents like me. 


Thanks. After all, someone has to flip hamburgers and do manual labor. I'd prefer it be your child and not mine.    


Make no mistake about it, Fukushima might be bad, but, in the long run, these games will do a hell of a lot more damage to the minds of children than Fukushima will ever do.


You would do anything to protect your child from radiation, right? Why do you voluntarily give them something that will hinder them and hurt their progress?


Don't believe me. Ask any educator or child psychologist or pediatrician. 

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