Old Fashioned Things Are Almost Always Better

I think there's been an ever accelerating trend all over the western world (and Japan) to get back to "old-fashioned ways." I think evidence of this can be seen nearly everywhere you look: The trend towards healthier lifestyles, more natural foods, the return of the popularity of canning foods or making your own jams and jellies at home, the popularity of retro fashions, designs, music and films....


It seems there is a hunger for the more "down to earth" ways of the past. Perhaps this is due to a bad economy or just due to a feeling that we've been heading down the wrong road through all these years of mass consumerism.　

A photo from a Yakitori in Asakusa circa 1969

I even think that this desire to return to the old ways is a catalyst for many of the political and social protest movements like Occupy Wall Street or even the wonderful popularity on the Ron Paul movement in the US election; People think things now aren't as good as they used to be. They want to get back to better times.


Recently, I've noticed this movement in Japan too. Did you know that some products that were very popular 40 or 50 years ago, yet near their death-beds in the late 80's and 90's in Japan have had a massive return in popularity over these last 5 years or so? Yes. It's true.  

One of the items that used to have a very uncool image amongst the young people 30 years ago was Hoppy. Back in the fifties and sixties, a cold glass of beer was a luxury for most Japanese businessmen. The solution? Hoppy. Hoppy is a non-alcoholic beer-tasting drink that, when added with Sho-chu (cheap) Korean liquor tastes like beer and gets the job done quite well, thank you. Hoppy was hugely successful before and during the days of Japan's Economic Miracle. It was still popular until about 1979 or so...


In the late seventies and early 80s, a new drink came on the market that just destroyed the competition and that was called "Lemon Sour" or "Chu-hi."  Lemon Sour is lemon juice and carbonated water with sho-chu. It is quite easy to drink, cheap and didn't have an old fashioned image like Hoppy, so all the young people started drinking that. I used to drink those too.


In those days, of the early 80s, Hoppy was considered a stale old drink from stinky old men, that is, up until about 5 years ago. That's when the old man who ran the company that makes Hoppy retired and put his daughter in charge of the company as president. She is one smart woman and she set out to revitalize the company and the image of the drink. And what a job she's done! Hoppy sales have exploded in Japan and is now being drank by younger people. Why? Well Lemon Sour and Chu-Hi actually are high calorie drinks with lots of sugar in them. Hoppy is very low calorie and almost no sugar. So, since Hoppy is very low calorie (lower than Lemon Sour or beer) and so is Sho-chu, so you can drink Hoppy and be feeling great at a few dollars cheaper per glass and at a fraction of the calories of beer or Chu-hi. 

The new president of Hoppy turned the company around and became a star of the business world

On a diet yet you want to drink but still want to look better? Hoppy it is! 


This "healthier" image has done wonders for the company and the drink. In fact, it is my personal drink of choice now as Hoppy is very low on purine so it is best for drinkers who might suffer from gout or other drink related illnesses.

These sorts of old style drinking places are everywhere and resurgent in Japan.

I've marked where it says, "Hoppy" so you can try it next time.

Another thing that has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity is... Hi-Lite tobacco. Now, in this day and age, a resurgence in popularity in tobacco seems and impossibility, but with the Japanese government continually raising the taxes on cigarettes, many of the western brands, like Marlboro or Lucky Strike have gotten very expensive in Japan. It seems to me that I have witnessed, over these last two years, a high resurgence of younger guys smoking Hi-Lite cigarettes.

Hi-Lite has a similar story to tell as Hoppy does: After the war, premium cigarettes were prohibitively expensive. Then people smoked cheaper brands. And the most popular of the cheapest brands (and strongest nicotine and tar - 14mgs!) was Hi-Lite. Hi-Lite was by far the best bang for the buck. Hi-Lite's package design hasn't changed in years and is very uncool. It's so uncool that it today fits in well, design wise, with the retro boom happening in Japan.

If I were this guy, I'd be drinking Hoppy and smoking cigarettes too... Maybe things weren't so bad for "ojisan" after all...

Another thing that has found a return to popularity and success in Japan is the kid's drink Ramune. Ramune was one of Japan's first "soda-pop" drinks. When the british brought over lemonade before 1870's, the Japanese thought they were saying, not "Lemonade" but "Ra-mo-ne." Some enterprising Japanese businessmen then decided to make Ramune and it first went on sale in 1870. Over the years, there have even been wasabi and curry-taste tasting Ramune....

Today there's all sorts of flavors of Ramune that kids like. My son loves it.

Ramune has been around all these years, and always available at festivals and matsuri season in Japan, but only in the last 5 or 6 years or so, has Ramune really gotten popular again. You might recognize Ramune by the unique shape of the bottle and, when you open it, a glass marble drops down inside the bottle too (never could figure out the reason for that). Ramune is even being sold in restaurants and grocery stores nowadays. I even saw it in a convenience store the other day! 

Besides these three small examples, I see a resurgence of retro style and of people wanting things to get back to the way they were before. I see parents of small children wanting their kids to go do more traditional Japanese things and to enjoy the things those parents enjoyed when they were kids.


It was a time when things were simpler than now and life seemed just a little bit better.

Oh, how I wish we could get back to the way (some) things used to be: Friendlier neighborhoods, less crime, lower taxes, less stress... Maybe our grandparents did suffer through a lot, but I think they can also be envied for living something that us folks today only dream about.


What sorts of "getting back to better times" type of things do you see where you live? Let me know.

Asakusa Jinta is a band that relies heavily on retro sounds and images of the Showa period (1926 ~ 1989). This sort of concept would have died a quick death up until just a few years ago but is very popular today.

Thanks to marketing expert and promoter Asami Shishido

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Pop! Fizz! Glug! Drinking in the morning? What an Alcoholic is and What it is Not

Imagine the sound of a can of beer being popped open. Pop! Fizz! Glug! 

WHAT'S THE USE IN GETTING SOBER? 

(YOU'RE JUST GOING TO START DRINKING AGAIN)

Imagine that the first thing out of the mouth of that person holding that beer and popping it open is "Good morning to you!" Pop! Fizz! Glug!   

Imagine that this scene is happening at dawn... Perhaps 5 in the morning. Pop! Fizz! Glug!

Imagine that the person popping open that beer at 5 am is saying "Good morning" Pop! Fizz! Glug! And he's chugging it down and smiling. 

That person is me. Is that person an alcoholic?


No, there are more details you need. I have actually had this experience many times. You see, this is my dream in life. When I retire, I want to do this everyday of the year. Pop! Fizz! Glug!


Where am I in this scene? I am on a deep-sea fishing boat out in the Pacific Ocean a hundred miles from the coast. I am with my friends. We are on vacation. We left the harbor late last night and the fishing boat is just arriving, after a 10-hour journey, to the fishing spot.


It is a beautiful day. We are out in the middle of the Pacific ocean. There is no other humanity around excepting us on that boat. The boat's engines stop. The boat floats. We gear up our fishing poles and drop line waiting for fish (and drinking more beer). It is heaven. Pop! Fizz! Glug!


So, I ask again, is this person an alcoholic? Nope. Just on vacation and just fishing. It is wonderful.  

Drinking and fishing is good enough for Babe Ruth

so it's good enough for me! (Oh, but the Babe

had a serious drinking problem it seems!)

A few posts ago, I put to blog my thoughts on "What is an Addiction?" From that post, I have received many mails from people asking me what I thought about various addictions such as nicotine addiction and my take on the casual drinker.


Those were all tough questions to answer and, I suppose, like I stated in my article that since each chemical affects different people differently, then I guess it goes to reason that each person's method of abusing their body will affect those around them differently and how they (and their "amusement") are perceived.


Even if one's self-ordained medication doesn't seem to bother the partaker to the point of failing in their work and home duties, if it affects the thinking of those around, then I suppose, using my logic, it must affect their human relationships.


Once again, to recap what an addiction is for those who missed the first article, in a sentence or two from What is an addiction, consider:


Addictions are not the problem of alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex or whatever. Addiction is not a problem of the substance abuse in and of itself... Addiction is a problem of human communication.

For example, drug addiction is not a problem of drugs. Drug addiction, like all addictions is a problem of human relations. This is the part about addictions that people fail to recognize for what it is. Drug addiction, like all addictions become a problem when they start to interfere with your human relations and communications with the people around you.   


So that article discusses what an addict is. This discusses (with a hopefully humorous story) what an alcoholic (or addict) is not.


So, what isn't an addict? Now there's a tough question to answer!


It's only the middle of October and Christmas and New Year's are just around the corner. With this story, I cannot answer the question as to "what is an addict"? But I sure can answer what it is not. 


I'd like to share this humorous true story with you about exactly what isn't an alcoholic but is perceived as one. 


Perhaps I can get away with this unseasonably untimely article because I saw, at Tokyo's famous and extremely fashionable Takashimaya department store, people already lined up for New Year's "Oseichi Ryori."

Lining up at the start of October for Oseichi Ryori for January 1!

Crikey! The Christmas stuff wasn't even out yet! 

But, as I often do, I digress...


Trust that if you never drank alcohol or ever took any sorts of drugs at all, and you witnessed someone doing so in the early morning or sneaking off to do so where they wouldn't be seen, you'd think they had a serious addiction problem. That's happened to me... At my wife's parent's house.


That's the story today.


But first, let me recall my very first New Year's Day in Japan. It was in 1980. I was in Japan for vacation and visiting my then, and soon to be, first wife's house. I didn't know it at the time, but my soon-to-be wife's father was the president of a construction company and they had a dormitory. Several (many, all?) of the workers lived on the first floor of their house which was that dormitory. I stayed on the second floor of their house during my entire three week stay in Japan.


I didn't know what was going on with all these people living and staying at this house (my fiancee wasn't good at explaining things) so I thought this arrangement was a bit bizarre and figured that these people were all workers and/or family members. They were all very nice people and were always friendly to me, though I didn't know exactly who they were.


One day, it became New Year's morning, at about ten am, I went downstairs to the living room (I'm sure with a hangover).


When I got downstairs there were eight or so men, who worked at my girlfriend's dad's company who were passed out on the floor - drunk. I stepped over them and wanted to go to the bathroom... There was my wonderful future mother-in-law Komako and she smiled at me. She said,


"Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu!!" (Happy New Year!) and she offered me a drink of sake.


"Wow! I love Japan! What a wonderful country!" I thought. "People drink from the morning and enjoy life. I love this place!"


That was my very first New Year's in Japan. It was a wonderful memory and I'll never forget it.


Later I would soon learn that the Japanese had strict societal "rules" about alcohol drinking. It was considered fine to drink on holidays and special occasions from the morning, but to drink during the week, during work hours, or to drink so much that one missed work, was totally forbidden (though, of course, some people are alcoholics and do that). 


Japanese people who are gainfully employed still, to this day, and to my knowledge, never drink during work hours. This, as opposed to Americans who are known to have two-martini lunches (I sure did before I came to Japan - and those at my bosses' behest!) 


That New Year's day had a profound effect on me as to so-called "responsible drinking."


Fast forward at least twenty three years later...


I was a producer of many TV and radio shows and had gone the rounds with the people who are gainfully employed in the mass media. Let me tell you, those people can drink.


I have learned a few things about working in the mass media and sales in Japan (if you are in the mass media, then you are salesman, if for nothing else, selling yourself) then you have to drink. And that means drinking a lot. Drinking  a lot nearly every night of the week. The weak drinkers and faint at heart need not apply. If you want to succeed in those businesses, in Japan, then expect to drink heavily.


Let me give you one example. Mr. Sugiyama, Taro, Mikey and me. Four of us. Start drinking at 5 pm. Finish drinking at 8 am when the bar owner kicks us out. By then we have consumed 5 pints of beer each and between us downed 6 liters of Korean liquor that is 25% alcohol. I was so drunk that I couldn't walk. 


It wasn't the first time I'd been that drunk. It wasn't the last...


I do hope, though, in my old age, that I don't do that again...   


Now, I am a responsible drinker... 


But there are still two people who think I might be an alcoholic. Those two are my wife's mom and dad. 


They don't drink alcohol.


They don't smoke cigarettes. 


They don't gamble.


They live in the country and there's nothing to do there except go for walks and, for exciting entertainment, go to the one and only department store for miles around. Woop-dee-doo!


So, it used to be, I dreaded going there because there was nothing to do. They live out in the middle of the sticks. Even going to the department store is a good 8 minute drive by car... Walking? Oh, there's a 7-11 convenience store about 8 or 9 minutes walk from their house... I'd guess it's at least 1 kilometer away (about 3/4 mile or so). 


This 7-11 convenience store would be the exact cause that my in-laws think I am an alcoholic. Here's what happened:


It was New Year's Day. My son wasn't yet born and wife and I had gone to stay at her parent's home for the holidays. I was dreading that because, like I said, they don't partake in any particular, shall I say, "escapisms." In fact, they are very serious people and quite conservative about many things. 


I love my in-laws and they are good and kind to me, but they are definitely quite the prim and proper middle aged Japanese couple: Little sense of humor; he was the former president of a large Japanese corporation and she was the head dietician for all elementary schools in all of Kanagawa prefecture. (Imagine a person who was head dietician for all elementary schools in, say, Texas and you get the idea). They both had received numerous awards from Japanese prime ministers and came from strong and upstanding families and all that.


Me? I am a lowlife American who liked to drink to excess with friends at work nearly every night and smoked cigarettes and loved to gamble.


It was New Year's morning. I prepared for it by buying two large cans of beer from the 7-11 convenience store the night before. I knew that I would be the only one drinking at that household and that I would have to control myself; that's why I only bought two cans. I figured that I could probably drink the two cans really quick, get a buzz (maybe) then go back to sleep until it was time to go to the shrine and then food!


I sat at the dining table. It was about 10 am. I opened a beer. "Good morning to you!" I said to my mother-in-law. Pop! Fizz! Glug! She sat down by me looking very worried,


"Is it OK that you drink so early in the morning?" she asked.


I replied, "Oh, sure! You kidding? My friends and I drink much more than this!" I think I shouldn't have said that. My mother-in-law looked on with a worried face as I drank the next can of beer immediately. Pop! Fizz! Glug!  


Later on, my wife got mad at me and told me not to drink in front of her parents. She told me that they think I have a drinking problem.


"What!?" I said, "I only had two cans of beer!" 


"I don't care!" My wife said. "My parents don't drink at all, so if you are going to drink, go do it somewhere else!"


"Nonsense!" I thought. 


Later that day, I decided that I wanted to drink and smoke. Couldn't do it there at the in-laws house so I told them that I was going to "take a walk." I did. I grabbed some money from my wife and headed down to the 7-11. 


The 7-11 is a good walk down a fairly steep mountainside... The coming back up hill would suck, but I still wanted the booze... And there's not much to stop a man who is bored out of his mind, in the country with nothing to do, at a house where people do not drink or gamble or smoke, so I took the walk.


It was a brisk afternoon. I entered the 7-11 like a kid in a candy store. "Oh boy! Booze!" I grabbed a few large cans of beer and some cigarettes, paid for them, and walked out of the store...


When I walked out, I looked for somewhere to sit. Somewhere that I could leisurely relax and enjoy the sun and my cigarettes and beer. There wasn't any place good, so I popped open the beer and lit a cigarette in the parking lot.


"Wow! Drinking in a parking lot!" I thought. "Just like when I was a university student." It felt good!


I took another large swig of the beer and then walked over to the street corner to look around at Stickville. Nothing! Nothing to the left of me, nothing to the right of me excepting rice fields as far as you could see and closed shops and houses.


"Shit!" I thought. I took some more puffs and downed the beer. I put the empty can back into the vinyl bag and opened another. Pop! Fizz! Glug! 


Then it happened.


Just as I was standing on the street corner downing the second beer, they came. Right in front of me. My mother and father-in-law drove by in the car and they were looking right at me! They were shocked and had their mouths gaping wide open. I could read their minds. They were thinking,


"Oh, my god! Definitely Mike does have a drinking problem! He is sick! Our daughter married an alcoholic! What shall we do? He's standing on a street corner drinking like some homeless person! Oh, the shame!" 


They drove by gaping at me. I saw them too and probably looked like a deer caught in the car's headlights. I quickly tried to put the beer behind my back as they drove past. I tried to look nonchalant and smiled as I waved with my other hand that was holding the vinyl bag with the empty beer can. It was probably obvious that there was an empty in the vinyl bag from the way it looked.


Eyes wide open and staring at me. Their mouths gaped open like baby chicks waiting for their mother to feed them. They turned the corner and drove down the street in the opposite direction.


"Shit!" I thought. Pop! Fizz! Glug!  


Later on, when I returned home, my wife told me that her parents didn't want me out drinking in public because they didn't want the neighbors to see me and know that their daughter had married an alcoholic foreigner. They said that if I insisted upon drinking, that I should do it at their house where no one would see me. My mother told my wife that she thought I might need to seek professional help.


No thank you. I know how to drink. I don't need a professional teaching me how to do that.


That's been at least 7 years ago. In spite of what you think, I am not an alcoholic. I deny that completely.


Why can I deny that? Because we go to my wife's parent's house several times a year. I have come to enjoy going there now. I control myself and don't drink when we go there


Why? Well, when I go there,

I don't drink alcohol.

I don't smoke cigarettes. 

I don't gamble.

In fact, whenever I go to my in-laws house, I usually go three or four days in a row without any of the above (I take lots of naps). It's kind of like doing a body cleansing. I do feel much better whenever I return from visiting the in-laws house.

It's when I get home that the process repeats. 


Pop! Fizz! Glug!

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My Life is Like a "B" Horror Movie

I have been thinking about writing another book. Well, actually, I've been thinking that since 2005, since the first, and only, book I ever wrote came out.


It was a terrible book. I hope I can write a better one next time... Then again, on second thought, a third grader could probably write a better book than my first one. It was crappy.


I've been inspired to write a new book by three things. One was my new favorite blogger, who wrote a post entitled; Why and How I Self-Published a Book. (If that link doesn't work, try this one: http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/05/why-and-how-i-self-published-a-book/)


In that post he explains why and how he wrote the book. I like the ideas. Actually, I hate publishers and I hated dealing with those people who published my first book and never want to do that again. I also want to publish the book and give it away for totally and completely free.

I want to tell stories. I think I am good at it. And, at this time in my life, I am not so interested in doing it for money. Maybe someday, but not now. 


My biggest problem was how I was going to tie up all these bizarre stories I have in my mind (all true stories, too!) and all this crazy sh*t I've done (and lived to tell the story about) into one coherent book.... 


Now, I realized how to do it... Hence the title of this post.


Another thing that has inspired me is that, since coming back from that hellish trip to the USA, I think my writing has, for some inexplicable reason, improved by leaps and bounds... Not that you could tell by my readership which sits where it always has.


The third thing that inspired me was I met a lady today who was an acupuncturist trained in Austin Texas. She didn't look like she was from Texas. She was either Korean or Japanese and studied in Austin. That seems strange to me. Doesn't that seem strange to you? I mean, here was this pretty Asian woman who learned acupuncture in Austin Texas? How does that work? Doesn't there seem like there is something strange about that?


Anyhow, when she told me she studied in Austin I told that I had been there before and that I thought people in Austin Texas were crazy... (As if anyone from Southern California has any right to call anyone else crazy! Southern California has the craziest people in the world, I think... Excepting for, maybe, New Yorkers...)


She laughed and agreed with me. Maybe she thought it were true or maybe I still have that killer charm with the ladies. Probably the former since I was at acupuncture and an 85-year-old man probably could turn their neck farther and faster than I could. I couldn't turn my neck at all.

JELLO BIAFRA & MOJO NIXON - 

ARE YOU DRINKIN' WITH ME WITH ME JESUS?

I started telling her and the other doctors about the one time I went to Austin Texas in 2005... Cindy Sheehan, the anti-war protestor mother whose son, Casey, had been killed in the war, was having a protest near the Bush ranch in Austin. There were people from around the world gathering there to see her and to support her protest against the Iraq war. Since I was a regular columnist for the well known Libertarian site Lew Rockwell.com, she asked me to come and show support from Japan. I accepted the invitation. Hence...


I might call this episode: Austin, Texas, USA, 2005: the Land of the Free


I told the acupuncturists about how I flew to the USA to join this protest. 


I had heard that the US authorities were frowning upon people going to Austin so, in order to hide my intentions, I flew into Atlanta Georgia and transferred there to a flight to Austin. In my twisted mind, I figured that if I flew into Atlanta first, and not Austin, the immigration and customs authorities wouldn't think twice about my intentions. I thought they'd definitely give me trouble if I flew in direct from Japan.


To make sure I had a good cover story, I created a fake google email account and sent myself an email claiming that it was from my cousin and that 110-year-old "Aunt Emma" was dying and that the entire family was waiting for me to hurry up and visit before it was too late. I printed that email out and it was good that I did. It seemed the immigration and customs agent was suspicious of me and when I showed him the letter and acted like I was about to cry, he let me go by immediately. 


I grabbed my Oscar award for best acting, er, I mean my connecting flight boarding pass and off to Austin I went. 


I finally arrived at Austin International airport after about 24 hours of traveling from Japan. I was exhausted. My great friend, Steve (not his real name) picked me up in his dirty pickup truck. He needed gas money, I gave it to him and we headed off to his place as that was where I was staying.


Like I said, I was exhausted and my brain fried. The last thing I needed was loud, fast hard-core fast thrash punk rock music blasting in my ear. Steve delivered it to me at pretty much full-volume all the way to his apartment.


Once arriving at the apartment, I told Steve that all I wanted was to have a shower, have a drink and go to sleep. The shower was no problem. The drink and sleep were another story.


Since it was a Sunday, Steve told me that Austin was a "dry" city and that alcohol sales were prohibited on Sundays. Christian nation and all. I couldn't believe it. Didn't Steve at least have a beer in the fridge? Nope. He didn't drink.


Snorting cocaine and smoking marijuana were another story, though. Steve began lighting up joints immediately as we entered his abode. 


"Mike, you can't buy any beer on Sunday's, it's against the law. So why don't you smoke one of these?" (As if smoking marijuana wasn't against the law!?)


"No. Really, Steve. I don't do that anymore. Seriously. I can't just go and buy a beer?"


"Nope. Not on a Sunday."


"But what about that convenience store around the corner? I can just go there and buy one, can't I?"


"Nope."


Not being the kind of guy who takes "no" for an answer, I changed clothes and headed out the door. I figured that money talks and that I could bribe my way into a beer or two. I walked into the convenience store and said to the clerk,


"Look. Here is my passport. See? I don't live in the USA. All I want to do is to buy a beer and go to sleep. I just came in from Japan and I'm exhausted." The clerk said,


"Wish I could help you but alcohol sales are illegal on Sundays."


"Yeah, I know that. How about if I give you $20 to sell me just one beer?" The clerk shook their head, "No!" I kept upping the bribe,


"$50, $80, $100!" No deal. The clerk said,


"I'd love to sell you a beer but the cases are all locked." I went to look, sure enough, they were all chained and padlocked closed. The chains were huge and the padlocks looked like something you'd see at Fort Knox.


I couldn't believe it. This was the USA. Texas of all places. Supposedly the hot seat of freedom and the land of the free. In Japan (a nation that was supposedly not nearly as free as the USA), I could buy a can of beer anytime I wanted to at anytime of the day or night (24/7) and walk down any public street drinking it anywhere I wanted. Not being able to buy a can of beer in the Land of the Free? In Texas of all places? "Alcohol sales illegal on a Sunday"!? What rubbish. I'd never heard of such a thing. Must be impossible. These people were joking.


I went back to my friend's apartment. By then another of his friend's had already shown up to meet me. My friend, Steve, laughed as he lit up another joint and said, "See? Told you that you couldn't buy any beer! Have a hit of one of these. This is good stuff!"


Still, I didn't want to get high on dope, I just wanted a drink to calm down and go to sleep. I asked Steve to call his friends and ask if they have anything to drink. 


"My friends don't drink alcohol, Mike. This is pretty much a dry county and my friends just smoke. Sure you don't want none of this?" He handed the joint to me.


"No. Really. Seriously. I don't do that anymore. It just makes me paranoid as hell and I'm already paranoid enough as it is."


Steve called around to his friends. Sure enough, no one had any drinks at home. One friend, though, suggested that he knew a "Speakeasy" where I might get a drink.


Speakeasy's were popular in the 1930's during Prohibition when the idiots in control of the government made drinking alcohol illegal across the United States. Underground bars, posing as tea and coffee houses, began popping up everywhere where people could get in, knowing a secret password, and have a drink. Here it was 2005 America and they still had them in Texas operating on Sundays. Steve's friend tried to get me into one. 


After several tries, he gave up. No dice. The bosses of the Speakeasy's were very strict about who they served alcohol to. I understood. My friend told me that if they were caught serving alcohol on a Sunday, they would go to prison. They didn't served booze to anyone they didn't know for years personally. You never know when an FBI sting will be setup to bust one of these operations (a FBI sting that will have cost millions of dollars over a few years just to bust some old guy serving whiskey to ten people....Good deal for the taxpayers, eh?)


What a wonderful country! I'm sure the Taliban would approve.


Unbelievable. Sunday in Austin Texas and there was no way one could buy even one can of beer. Like I said, compare that with unfree Tokyo Japan where one could buy a beer anytime of the day, 24 hours a day, and drink it anywhere they wanted too, even on a public street! So much for the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave.


Finally, one more friend of Steve's came over to meet me. He was a fan of my scribblings too. He felt sorry for my not being able to get a drink. 

A typical Sunday's entertainment in 

"God's Country"

"God's country!" He cynically proclaimed as he poured out lines of cocaine onto the glass table top.


Steve kept smoking marijuana, and this new friend kept chopping up cocaine. They both kept offering me some and I kept declining.


"All I wanted was one little drink, yet I couldn't have it." I said as I lay down on the sofa. The friend snorted the cocaine and rubbed his nose. Through his gasps he looked at me and said, 


"Mike! This is a dry county in a Christian country in the Land of the Free. Why is it you have a problem with that? Why do you hate the baby Jesus!?" He laughed sarcastically at the absurdity of it all and handed the straw towards me. I refused. After a 24 hour flight, snorting cocaine was the last thing I needed.


On the left of me, here's a guy breaking the law by smoking marijuana. On the right of me, a guy breaking the law doing cocaine. Me, in the middle, I cannot even buy a glass of wine or a beer just because it is a Sunday? What is this? Enforced Christianity? Didn't Jesus drink wine?


In the country that is supposed to be the Land of the Free, I can't even buy a can of beer on a Sunday? And this is the nation that is supposed to bring freedom and build democracy to people's in Iraq, Afghanistan and the Middle East?


Lord, help us. And please give me a drink.

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Guys! Drink Like a Man! (the Ladies are Watching!)

Guys and ladies! Here's some great stuff for you about drinking and what drinking means to your relationship with the opposite sex!


I love reading Lew Rockwell.com. I read it religiously everyday. From reading Lew's blog everyday I've come to really understand just how messed up our government's are and how, in spite of those government's propaganda, the people's real enemy is their own government.


Those who have been paying attention should probably already know this but it bears repeating as much as possible. 


I also like reading Lew Rockwell for the great articles on life and 'how things are or how they should be.' I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to get their head on straight and start filtering through all the crap and understand economics, manners and how this world really (or should but doesn't) works. Besides Lew's own articles, he has on board, some of the best writers in the USA and Canada today.


In today's Lew Rockwell, I found an article that, as a drinking man, was very interesting to me. It was an article that states the opinion (I think it is absolutely correct) that what you drink says a lot about you. It also says that ladies are judging you by what you drink! (If so, I got troubles!) 


This article was definitely written for an American audience. In Japan some things are different so I'll add on a "Japan addendum" at the end...


Here's the article in yellow highlight (with my comments, in white, of course!): 


What your cocktail says about you

Ever wonder why women always seem to be eavesdropping on your chats with the bartender? Well, the truth is, she’s probably judging your drink. 

Well, no. When does that ever happen? I think this guy watches too much TV! In Japan, She's probably hopping to the bar because the bartendar is a much more interesting guy than the rest of us guy customers are put together! Come on you guys! Get with the program here!

Maybe she knows, for example, what drinking whiskey says about you, even more than you do. Or what drinking beer says about you. Or what–shudder–drinking screwdrivers says about you.

Perhaps it’s time to revamp your glass. Or at least evaluate what your cocktail says about you. Here’s what she’s hearing…

What drinking whiskey says about you

Whiskey draws to mind a burly sort. This means that however well-groomed and well-versed you are, you’ve got the soul of a backwoodsman. What does drinking whiskey say about you? Whiskey implies to a woman that you’ve got the chutzpah to hammer down a door and hang a ceiling fan or, at least, ride a horse. It’s not important that you’re capable of any of these things. It matters more that you’ve got the dark mind, isolated heart and gritted teeth to bear the bitter taste; this is what a woman expects from whiskey. And it’s generally acknowledged that bosses respect whiskey drinkers more so than drinkers of almost any other sort.

You know... I never really thought about this... I can drink whiskey but prefer not to. I don't like the smell and I really don't like the taste... Good thing too. I hate carpentry work. Though I can say that I have two cases of this stuff in my cellar in case the end of the world comes. I bought whisky because I know that I won't touch it unless I really have to! Great idea, eh? In Japan, I think only older guys with some money drink this stuff.

What drinking martinis says about you

If you order a martini, you’re practically plastering a sign on your face that reads, “I have good taste. I have good money. I’m exhausted from my high-paying, suit-requiring career.” Martinis are no little thing. It’s not often a woman hears a young man ordering a martini. A martini means specificity, style and a small desire to be James Bond. In fact, it’s wise to only drink martinis straight up if you’ve got such broad shoulders, dashing suits and natural charm. Otherwise, go for on-the-rocks (and non-fruity-flavored types), which will slightly tone down the bold statement and relieve you of feeling watched while you’re sipping. Martinis are a general hit with executives and clients of any kind.

Hey! I like drinking martinis (make sure it is Tanqueray Gin only!)! I used to order a double martini at my favorite Italian restaurant here in Tokyo before dinner every time we went there (it's not there anymore)... Then, after a second, I'd slither off my chair like a glob of half melted jello and my wife would have to drive us home. Good times! Good times! I can't say that I have ever seen any Japanese person order one of these. 

What drinking mojitos says about you

Mojitos can be tricky, because mojitos served at various restaurant often resemble different drinks. If the glass is simply prepped with mint leaves, a lime slice, ice and the drink itself, you should be fine. In fact, this would give an impression of relaxed exoticism (i.e. confident and intriguingly adventurous.) However, if the glass arrives and seems to steal attention from your appearance rather than add to it, meaning that it magnetizes eyes over its frilly, brightly colored features, go the bathroom and drain it as quickly as possible. There’s no need to subject yourself to whispers for sipping what seems to be a peculiar cocktail too flavored to get you favored by onlookers. Unless you are vacationing at a vast beach resort or lunching at an ethnic restaurant, try to avoid the mojito if you want to meet women.

Mojitos!? With a name like this that sounds like it must be a Tequila based drink! If so, no thank you! When I graduated from college, my roommate Pete and Toru Taguchi drank 3 quarts of tequila by ourselves and I fell down two flights of stairs and cracked my head open. I had a massive hangover for three days after that. My hair even hurt! Good times! Good times! 

I'll never drink tequila again as long as I live... Oh, but I have been seeing pre-mixed mojitos in bottles at night clubs here in Tokyo... Pre-mixed cocktails!? Yuck! Tastes awful! 

What drinking screwdrivers says about you

No beautiful woman ever starts the story of how she met her husband with these words. “I saw him across the bar, drinking a screwdriver…” No boss ever clasped his prize employee’s shoulder and toasted their screwdrivers.

I thought screwdrivers were only good in the mornings at home alone (after a heavy night drinking) and with only fresh squeezed orange juice... This writer doesn't say it, but if you want to drink and not wind up "screaming for O'rourke" then don't be drinking stuff like screwdrivers... In Japan, real fresh squeezed orange juice is hard to find. It's always that concentrated stuff. Bleech! So you don't see too many Japanese drinking this stuff either.

Also! Important! Real men don't drink things like screw drivers or margarita's or, for that matter, go to Starbucks and order Cafe Ole or sissy drinks like Frappucino or Crappucino either!

What drinking gin and tonic says about you

Gin and tonics are definitely a step up from the screwdriver. Even if only because they do not contain a fruit juice but instead a bitter liquor and seltzer water, because they look elegant and are served in stylishly simple glasses, and because they call to mind a man who appreciates an easy time inebriating himself without under-appreciating the process. Gin and tonics are the B version James Bond (or James Bond on his day off in a dark saloon.) Gin and tonics are fairly nondescript, because a large collection of younger kids, women, ancient men and even depressed mothers drink them. This means you aren’t trapped in anyway, but you also haven’t made any kind of dashing statement, which means more work for you.

This seems to me to be the cocktail of choice for young Japanese women. In Japan, the choices are completely different (as I will show in a bit). Japanese girls like sweet drinks like this or what we call "Lemon Sour."

What drinking a godfather says about you

There’s not much explanation necessary for the godfather. When women discover what’s in the drink they’ll raise an eyebrow, and maybe later their skirts. 

They'll raise their skirts just because of your drink!? What a bunch of loose hussys you have in the USA! On the other hand, this drink, if translated correctly could have huge potential in the Asian market. If you know what I mean (wink! wink!)

When your boss hears you order it, he’ll raise an eyebrow and possibly your position in the company. 

No kidding? That easy?

The godfather, a solid and simple combination of one part scotch, one part amaretto, says you like it strong, with a kick and close to ‘much too intense for everybody else.’ The godfather makes you a standalone man, not only because many people rarely order them these days, but because you’ve managed to put a classic (scotch), with a semi-eccentric (amaretto). This means good things all around. 

Not in Japan it don't. In Japan the team is important. We don't need too many nails. As in "The nails that sticks out gets hammered down."

Moreover, you can drink a godfather in a tux, tattered jeans or denim jacket and it won’t matter. The drink itself speaks so highly of you and your undeniable, masculine strengths, that to fret over your clothes would undermine everything.

Undeniable masculine strengths? tux? No wonder I've never heard of this drink. I'm just a wimpy guy trying to stay out of trouble!

What drinking beer says about you

Founding Father Ben Franklin is quoted as saying, “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” That’s what women see in handsome guys drinking brews. They see proof that God exists. And that he wants everyone in the bar to be happy. Sooner, rather than later.

Really? God wants everyone in the bar to be happy sooner rather than later? If that's true then people should drink something stronger, no? It's takes me a long time to get drunk on beer. I like it but if you want me to get really happy, really quickly, then I have bring out some heavier artillery than just plain old beer (even though Japanese beer is really strong). Let me now tell you about the Japanese booze that I drink regularly... But before that, maybe this comment is true. If so that just shows that, while there might be a God, the USA is definitely not God's country... Why? USA beers all suck and taste like watered down donkey piss. Those poor people! You'd think the country that could land on the moon could come out with a decent beer. But they don't. Weird, eh?

Now, to localize this article for the Japanese crowd or us folks in Japan. Since the writer didn't mention about wine, I too, will avoid mentioning Japanese sake as, if I drink that stuff, I wind up singing and dancing on top of the tables. Good times. Good times.

What drinking Korean Sho-chu says about you

For one, it says, "I'm in Japan (or Korea)!" Because I've looked for this stuff in the USA several times. Couldn't find it. Shochu must be in the top 5 alcohols that the discerning - as well as non discerning - Japanese drink. The Japanese usually drink, beer, happoshu (like beer only low calories and cheaper), rice sake, whiskey (scotch) and shochu.

Shochu is just about all I ever drink anymore. I mentioned before that I have gout so the wine, beer and whiskey are out. shochu doesn't have the ingredients that cause gout attacks, so it's safe to drink in moderation for gout sufferers! That's fine by me as beer makes you fat, I already told you that I don't like the taste of whiskey, and I go crazy drinking sake... So shochu it is! shochu is strong (25% alcohol) and so it gets the job done right. And there's all sorts from the good stuff to the rot gut. There's expensive shochu and really cheap Shochu... 


4 1/2 stars!


I'll give you one guess which I drink usually...

What drinking Hoppy says about you

Hoppy is a non alcohol beer that was the drink of choice back in the 1950's ~ 1970's. But has had a mighty revival in Japan these past 5 years or so. Why? it tastes pretty good and the stuff is cheap. I mean dirt cheap. When guys would go out to drink, they'd usually treat themselves to one beer then follow that with a shochu tanked Hoppy to get themselves inebriated. For example, at most bars and  Izakaya today in Tokyo, a beer runs anywhere between ¥500 ~ ¥800. But a Hoppy with a large shot of shochu in it runs about ¥400 ~ ¥450... And, since both Hoppy and shochu are better for guys with gout... In a country like Japan where far too many of us drink far too much in excess, Hoppy it is on a hot summer day.  


4 stars!


What drinking lemon sours says about you

No. Guys, don't drink this. This is a girl's drink or it says that you don't drink at all...If you guys are going to drink this sweet cocktail, stick with ice water... At least you won't be throwing up in the street later on because you are a rookie and can't hold your liquor.... Good times. Good times.


2 stars!

What drinking one cup shochu says about you

This is the bottom of the barrel in Japan. This is a disgrace. Never drink this stuff in public. This says that you are already married or you were married and got a divorce because your wife couldn't handle your drunken ass all the time. Drinking one cup shochu says that you been in Japan so long that you are nearly destitute or your wife gives you an allowance so you haven't any money so you want to get the biggest bang for your buck, in the quickest way possible. Of course, you'd love to go to the Izakaya and have yaki-tori with the friends, but how can you do that with only ¥250 yen in your pocket? You can't. But you can buy one of these! Stop off on the grocery store on the way home from work and buy one of these, chug it down on the way home (make sure the neighbors don't see you!) and you have a nice light buzz when you walk in and say, "Tadaima!" (I'm home!)... Good times! Good Times!


Takara one cup shochu? 1.5 stars, but for ¥150 yen a bottle at OK store, what can you expect? (about ¥225 at a convenience store!)


What drinking Happoshu says about you

There's also one more category of drink that is popular called Happoshu. This is a sort of light beer. It's really cheap. Some brands even advertise that theirs has a slight metallic taste (as if that's a plus! Yeech!)... College students and poor people drink this stuff... Good Times!


Happoshu? 1.2 stars.


Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed this informative article. What does your alcohol say about you?


I know what mine says about me and, frankly speaking, it's not a pretty picture!


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